Swan Mothers

Discovering Ourselves through Parenting

Transform Your Beliefs, Transform Your Life

My review for Karl Dawson’s Transform Your Beliefs, Transform Your Life: EFT Tapping Using Matrix Reimprinting.


UnknownAccessible and mind and consciousness-expanding, Transform Your Beliefs, Transform Your Life is worth reading both for those interested in learning about Matrix Reimprinting and long-time practitioners. Unlike some books which read like teasers and long promotions to take a healing course or engage a practitioner, this book gives you everything you need to try out Matrix Reimprinting or to take your practice deeper.

After a solid introduction to the science and history of EFT and Matrix Reimprinting, Part 2 covers Life Themes, including Conscious Parenting, Moving through Stress, Managing Pain, Recovery from Abuse, Transforming Grief, Clearing Phobias and Allergies, Body Image, and Goals. I enjoyed this organization because I could go directly to the topics that interested me.

Not surprisingly, one of my favorite Life Theme Chapters was Conscious Parenting. Here are a few excerpts:

…this chapter is not about blaming parents, it’s about empowering them to rewrite a happier childhood and create a positive, conscious platform from which they can parent.

Being a parent will mean that you’ll get angry at some point, that you’ll lose it, that you’ll feel inadequate, hurt, lost, lonely and afraid. Yet if you have the strength to realize what’s happening and are prepared to look at your own childhood scars and heal them, both you and your child will emerge stronger and more capable of handing what life has in store for you.

Another important piece that shows that the authors understand parenting:

…let’s also acknowledge that parenting is the hardest job in the world. Somehow we’re meant to navigate between unconditional love and setting limits, imposing discipline and empowering our children to be themselves — and be happy doing it!


 

Matrix Reimprinting has been integral to my healing and awareness-expansion journey. I highly recommend Karl’s book.

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Parenting from the Gut, Heart, and Soul

“How high is an Olympic diving board?” Daniel asked one day as we were jumping off the dock into the lake. “Let me check,” said my friend, pulling out her i-Phone. A quick click and a few taps later, we had the answer: three meter spring boards and ten meter platforms.

“What do swans eat?” Jonathon asked a few minutes later, watching a pair swimming toward us with their cygnets. I opened the browser on my phone. “Seaweed, insects, and snails,” I replied.

With the internet in our pockets, or at least easily accessible, most of us have instant access to much of the knowledge of the world. We can answer almost any questions accurately by peering into our magic screens.

Parenting by the Book

Because many of us do not have experience with children, we approach parenting by researching and reading. Soon, we are armed with statistics and historical facts that validate our choices. It feels good to be doing things our way.

This type of information-gathering can help us uncover new ideas and remedy old hurts. At the same time, all this knowing can disconnect us from what we really Know.

I Know!  (So why don’t I believe myself?)

Growing up tends to silence our inner voice. We are shushed and learn that it is not right to be overly boisterous when we are joyful. Our tears are wiped away with gentle assurances that “It’s okay,” or a curt, “Big girls don’t cry.” When we are afraid, we are told there’s nothing to be afraid of.

By the time we reach adulthood, most of us understand the proper ways to behave. And most of these correct behaviors require silencing the small still voice inside of us that Knows.

Learning to Trust Ourselves

What if, when we want to know something, we spent time observing and considering what we see and hear before looking up the “right” answer? (We could have enjoyed watching the swans and guessing what they were doing when their heads dunked underwater.)

What if, when our children are distressed we checked in with ourselves and asked, “How can I help my child?” before asking our friends on Facebook for advice? (I suspect that we often Know what our children need and are actually led astray by listing symptoms and asking for solutions.)

Here is a simple and effective way to access your Knowing.

1.       Place your hand on your heart.

2.       Breathe into your heart for a count of six.

3.       Breathe out of your heart for a count of six.

4.       Continue until you feel centered and congruent with your heart.

5.       Ask your heart a question, such as, “How can I help my child now?” If you want to know something but aren’t sure how to phrase it, ask, “What do I need to know right now?”

6.       Listen.

I am not abandoning my smart-phone, library, or friends. I do intend to listen to my own wisdom, first, more often.

Where do you find information for the parenting journey? How do you determine if it is right for your family? Tell me in the comments.

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Super-Easy Homeopathy to Stop the Flu in Its Tracks

One of the trees in my front yard has already dropped all of its leaves. Others are still green. The burning bush shrubs are turning red. The nights are cool. The days are crisp. Autumn, my favorite season, has arrived.

For many people, autumn is also the start of cold and flu season. Already, I have heard of whole families affected by strep throat, vomiting, colds, and other malaise.

No one likes to be sick. When our autistic and neurodivergent children get sick, they may be particularly upset by the change in routine. They might fall behind in school work and miss therapy sessions. And mothers certainly don’t have time to be sick. Both parents and children want to be healthy and feel good.

Homeopathy for Stopping the Flu Before It Starts

Homeopathic remedies, taken at the first sign of the flu or sickness are extremely effective. The sooner you take them, the sooner you will feel well. Plan ahead and purchase the remedies you will need.

What to Buy

Aconite in the 200c potency.

Oscillococcinum 200.

Prevention is the Best Medicine

Common Sense for Staying Healthy

1.      Wash hands with soap and water when coming home from school, work, or shopping.

Do not rely on sanitizers. Sanitizers kill germs – but then you rub the dead bacteria and viruses into your skin. The ethyl alcohol in the sanitizer enhances absorption. This means that anything mixed with it will move through the skin and into the bloodstream more easily. (Everyone say “Eewe!” and head to the sink.)

2.      Drink plenty of water.

3.      Eat nourishing foods such as home-made soups and stews.

4.      Relax when stressed. Remember to take cell salts and to use EFT to keep stress levels low.

5.      Sleep when tired.

Preventing Flu with Homeopathic Remedies

Before Exposure

Take one dose of oscillococcinum 200 per week during flu season.

Even though the vials say to take the whole vial, I do not find this necessary. One tube should yield at least four doses and could easily be many more. Simply pour a few pellets into the mouth without touching the vial to the mouth OR pour a few pellets into a teaspoon and then place them in the mouth

  • Take all remedies in a clean mouth.  Do not eat, drink, smoke or brush teeth 15 minutes before or after taking remedies.

Known Exposure to Flu, No Symptoms

Take one dose of oscillococcinum 200 by pouring a few pellets into the mouth without touching the vial to the mouth.

First Sign of Feeling Ill

As soon as you feel the chill or scratchy throat that is your sign that you are getting sick, put a few aconite pellets in the cap and toss them in your mouth. Carry your vial of aconite 200 with you so that you can take it (or give it to your children) at the very first sign of sickness.

Repeat every 30 minutes for up to four doses.  Stop taking the remedy as soon as symptoms improve.

If you still feel ill or as if you are becoming ill after four doses, take a dose of oscillococcinum and follow the suggestions below.

Supportive Remedies and Actions

1.      If at all possible, go home and go to bed as soon as you start to feel sick. The remedies are very powerful but it is also important to listen to your body. When the body says, “Rest!” obey.

Mothers: This is the time to enlist the help of grandmothers, electronic babysitters, and whomever and whatever else can help. By resting early, you will heal more quickly and be able to return to full mommy-power quickly.

2.     Keep children home from school. Teachers, classmates and parents will be grateful that you did not share your flu. Your child will enjoy some special attention. Most importantly, you will demonstrate the importance of listening to his or her own body and honoring its needs.

3.      Drink water, herbal teas, and bone broths to stay hydrated and to nourish your body.

4.      Swallow or eat raw garlic. Garlic has anti-viral and anti-bacterial properties. Consuming raw garlic is very helpful when your throat feels raw and sore.

5.      Take immune boosting herbs such as echinacea and astragulus. My favorite brand is Herbs for Kids. Their herbs are sweet and pleasant to take.

6.      Support your body with cell salts. Take cell salts three times per day for a least one week after the first sign of flu or cold.

Wishing you a healthy winter.

In matters of health and healing, be fanatical about self-responsibility. Cell Salts and homeopathic remedies enable you to participate actively in your own healing. At the same time, you should continue to see your doctor for examinations, advice and treatment. Nothing on this site is intended as a substitute for medical advice.

Reference

Bill Cosby on Oscillococcinum

” .. A secret ingredient to his recovery is Oscillococcinum… his wife turned him on to alternative health when they moved to Los Angeles in the mid- 1960s… But he says he’s trying to spread the gospel on Oscillococcinum.

I’ve learned to pronounce Oscillococcinum because so many people don’t know anything about it,’…If you call people and they say, ‘Oh, man, I’m coming down with…,’ you tell them ‘Go to the drug store and get that box. It’s the only medicine with a lot of S’s and a lot of C;s in the first word….

They call back. ‘Did you get it?’ ‘No I haven’t gone yet.; They’re wheezing and sneezing and have a headache. ‘Here, hang up the phone and go.’ And they still don’t go. Why? ‘Because I don’t know how to pronounce it.’ So it becomes very, very funny and you get frustrated because you know it’s going to work.”

“Bill Cosby on colds: Not so funny; Comedian swears by French formula,” by Bruce Fessier, The Desert Sun, Palm Springs, CA, February 11, 2010

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Good Enough Parenting

This is the curious paradox: when we accept ourselves as we are, then we change. (Carl Rogers)

Mothering is Our Job

In our work as parents, we strive for an ideal. We know how we want our parenting to look:  joyful connection with our children, preparation of healthy meals, living in a clean and beautiful environment, reading and playing together, gently supporting our children in times of need. As these tasks become impossibly difficult, we push and struggle and wonder why we can’t make it work. We beat ourselves up, blame situations or people or our history or situation.

Hating Parenting

A group of friends has been discussing some painful realizations:

  • I don’t want to play with my children.
  • There’s nothing I want more than time away from the kids.
  • I’m angry that he doesn’t talk.
  • I hate that she’s not potty trained.

Astute parents try to shift out of these feelings by feeling gratitude for the things they do like about their children, situations and themselves. Gratitude is a lovely practice, but faking it isn’t gratitude. It becomes another should (I should be grateful for my children. Why aren’t I?) The idea that we should be grateful becomes another reason for guilt and sorrow.

Radical Acceptance

When you experience such feelings, acknowledge them and love yourself anyway.  Try some meridian tapping with phrases like those below. Modify the words so that they feel right. (If you don’t want to click the link, simply tap on your fingertips with the index finger of the other hand while saying the following.)

  • Even though I don’t want to play with my children, I can love myself anyway.
  • Even though I want to get away from my children, I am a good enough mother.
  • Even though I hate things about my child, I can consider forgiving myself.

Tap using those phrases for three rounds. Finish with a round of tapping “I have enough. I do enough. I am enough.”

The purpose of the tapping exercise is not to cheer up, but to love, accept and forgive yourself no matter what.

Keep Tapping

If you tapping on these phrases – or even just say them – you may be surprised one day to discover that you really do accept yourself as you are. Perhaps you will then be even more astonished that the ways and means for more satisfactory parenting and living show up for you.

Enoughness is the container of self-kindness. (Jennifer Louden)

Getting There

More quick ideas for reaching peace and acceptance:

1.       Join the Swan Mothers’ Circle and learn to Love Life with Atypical Children

2.       Soften your belly and breathe.

3.       Lay on the couch for five minutes. Put an eye pillow scented with lavender on your eyes.

4.       Have self-mercy and awareness in scared times.

5.       Go outside. Walk. Dig. Lay on the Earth.

6.       Gaze into the distance. Look up and out for a few minutes. See the big picture.

Several of the Getting There suggestions were inspired by Jennifer Louden’s words during an interview with Pace Smith. I highly recommend reading Jennifer Louden’s The Life Organizer: A Woman’s Guide to a Mindful Year and joining the Connection Revolution.

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Be Not Afraid Homeopathy

The first homeopathic remedy I used was Hyland’s Teething Tablets. They offered my teething baby instant relief and I was duly impressed. I  purchased them because I had read that these remedies were extremely safe for my baby. Then, I became intrigued. How did homeopathy work? What were these pellets?

I bought a few books and began reading about homeopathy.  Soon, I was interested enough to enroll in an Introduction to Homeopathy class at the local community college.

Learning the Rules of Homeopathy

My teacher, Dr. Gregory Kruszewski DHMS, RN, CCH, RSHom, was a classically trained homeopath. He obviously loved his subject and knew it well.

I listened to the lectures enthralled. I fell in love with homeopathy and the need to study if forever. There was always more to learn. I loved its rules:

  • Treat the patient, not the disease.
  • Give only the minimum dose.

I researched what homeopaths recommended and bought a small home remedy kit.

I began using homeopathy very successfully — but very sparingly. All of the books I read warned not to give the remedies too often, not to give too many remedies, not to use high potencies. This could lead to “proving” the remedy (developing the very symptoms the remedy was intended to treat) or could change the person’s constitutional picture, making future treatment difficult.

I Become Afraid of Using Homeopathic Remedies

I started to become afraid. The more I learned, the more I used homeopathy — but always with an eye to not err or harm my children in some mysterious way.

I have always been a rule follower. This made me very popular with teachers and served me well in many situations. Eventually though, I realized that following all of the rules was detrimental to growth and expansion.

By the time I enrolled in the homeopathy program at the Institute of Natural Health Sciences (INHS), I had a reasonably good grasp on homeopathy. Enough that I was pretty scared to use it the way I felt drawn to use it.

At the INHS, a whole new world opened for me. The head instructor, Dr. Kenneth S. Pittaway, ND, PhD, urged us to use the remedies. He prescribed high potencies as often as low ones. I watched him switch remedies often, as the patients healed and changed.

My classmates, some of whom were completely new to homeopathy, jumped in with both feet. I watched in awe (and dismay) as they ordered remedies and began administering them for themselves and friends. I was certain that disastrous ramifications would develop: constitutional pictures would be forever affected, mystery symptoms would appear.

None of this happened. After taking the remedies, most people felt better. There were no ill-effects.

The Big Shift

Slowly, gently, I too began to use remedies with more confidence and more frequently. Suddenly, my reading and listening was revealing that Samuel Hahnemann (the founder of homeopathy) saw his patients frequently and changed remedies constantly. I realized that if one of the greatest healers of all times worked this way, I could learn from his example.

Don’t Be Afraid: Use Homeopathic Remedies to Heal Yourself and Your Family

As my perspective of what is right and wrong in homeopathy shifted, I discovered that the best way to learn was to use the remedies and to trust my own experience. I learned that homeopaths all over the world help people using endless variations of what I initially thought was one right way to practice homeopathy.

This is why I write these blogs and share with you how to use remedies to help yourself and your children. I believe that homeopathy and cell salts are real health care reform. Using them (and other natural health tools) empowers individuals to take charge of their own health.

I hope that you are reading the homeopathy and cell salts articles.  If you read something and think, “That’s just like my kid! He has those exact issues,” please buy the remedy and try it.

Curious about safety? I discuss this more on the Homeopathy page.  My most basic recommendation:  Do not repeat potencies of 200c or higher frequently. Otherwise, use homeopathic remedies and cell salts. Give them in a way that supports your family’s needs. When you are better or, if after 3 doses you see no changes, stop the remedy and look for another remedy or healing modality.

Of course there are situations when a professional’s guidance will be of great value. Discover the power of homeopathic remedies by trying them on your own if this suits you. Then, schedule an appointment with a professional to experience deep healing.

Are You Afraid?

Do you have any questions or concerns about using homeopathic remedies? I’d love to hear them.  Please comment in one of the boxes below.

Want to read more?

You can see all of my posts about homeopathy and cell salts by clicking here.

As always, I urge you to practice fanatical self-responsibility in your own health and in that of your family.   Consult with your physician for medical advice.

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Matrix Magic for Sensitive Children

Many children today are very sensitive. Tight clothes and seams are intolerable to them. Loud noises and bright lights overwhelm them. They are upset in crowded rooms.

The sights, sounds and sensations that go un-noticed by most people may be unbearable to autistic children and those with sensory integration differences.

Meridian Tapping (EFT) is an easy technique that might help highly sensitive children to be more comfortable in clothes and in life. Meridian Tapping involves tapping on specific points on the body while saying words related to the discomfort.

To learn to tap, please click here to view my Super Easy Tapping Guide.

Once you understand the basic tapping formula, try the following super-easy tapping method to manage and moderate sensitivities.

Begin With Yourself

Tap your karate chop point and say these set-up phrases:

  • Even though my child is so sensitive and it makes my life difficult, I’m still a good mother.
  • Even though he complains about everything and it is driving me crazy, I can be okay with myself.
  • Even though it is hard to constantly placate him, I’m still a good person.

Next, tap through the points alternating the reminder phrases:

  • My life is difficult.
  • Little things are a big deal.

If these phrases don’t feel right to you, adjust them so they fit your feelings and your situation.

After a round or more of tapping on the problem, begin alternating the problem phrase with a choice phrase.  For example:

TH: My life is difficult.
IE: I choose to be easy on myself.
OE: Every little thing is an issue.
UE: I choose to be o.k. with that.
UN: My life is difficult.
CH: I choose to be easy on myself.
CB: Every little thing is an issue.
UA: I choose to be o.k. with that.
TF: My life is difficult.
IF: I choose to be easy on myself.
MF: Every little thing is an issue.
RF: I choose to be o.k. with that.
LF: I choose to experience joy every day.

Finally, do a whole round of tapping using positive choice statements such as:

  • I choose be okay with this.
  • I choose to like my life.

Tap with Your Child

Once you are in a good space with regarding your child’s sensitivities, you may consider working with your child.  Always do your own work first. If you are upset, you will not be able to help her.

Do not try to teach your child to tap in the heat of the moment. She will not be receptive.

The first time you tap with your child, choose a calm, quiet time. I like to tap with my children at bedtime.

Begin with a gentle explanation that is appropriate for your child. “I have learned a magical way to make you feel better. Would you like to try it?”

You know your child best. Choose one of these methods for tapping or present your child with these choices:

1.       Tap gently on your child while saying the phrases.

2.       Instead of tapping, touch the tapping points gently while saying the phrases.

3.       Model for your child by tapping on yourself. Encourage your child to tap on herself if she is receptive.

4.       Use a doll or stuffed bear to demonstrate the tapping. Encourage your child to tap on the bear while saying the phrases. You can ask, “How does bear feel when he puts on his socks?” Let your child use her own words as she taps.

5.       Use words that appeal to your child.

Set-up phrase:  Even though socks hurt my feet and I want to scream, I’m still a great kid.

Tap using the formula demonstrated and described in the Super-Easy Tapping Guide.

Facilitating Comfort, Not Eliminating Ways of Being

Many autistic teens and adults say that, though their sensitivities may be painful or challenging, they would not want to give them up for it is through this intense sensitivity that they have their own experience of the world. Meridian Tapping will not want to change our children into us. It will help them to be as comfortable as possible while retaining all of their gifts.

Bigger Shifts:  Matrix Reimprinting for Sensitive Children

Many children experience early traumas. Birth is traumatic. Some children receive harsh interventions as soon as they are born. Children might feel traumatized by separations from their mother, accidents, deaths in the family, being very scared for whatever reason — or a hundred other things.

Through Matrix Reimprinting work, we know that these events and incidents leave a mark on the child that will last until adulthood if it is not healed. Using surrogate Matrix Reimprinting, we can rewrite these events for the child.

If such work interests you, please join me in Group Healing Work and how reimprinting these early events can transform your child’s life.

You can also support your child with homeopathic remedies and cell salts

Be gentle with your child.  Be gentle with yourself.  Have a peaceful day.

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Super-Easy Homeopathy for Boosting Kids’ Confidence

“I’m the worst reader in the class,” Sara announced mid-first grade. “I’m just dumb.”

Sara’s mother was heart-broken hearing her six-year old say these words. Sara was a polite, kind, and obviously intelligent girl. Yet, because she saw other children reading chapter books while she struggled with simple readers, she had become convinced that she was stupid.

Another child might have shrugged off her lack of reading skills with, “Oh well.  I’m really good at soccer. I’ll figure out reading one of these days.” For Sara, the conviction that she was inferior to her peers carried over to other parts of her life. She walked around with her head hanging. She decided that she was also a bad dancer and that no one wanted to play with her.

Why do some children move through set-backs and while others are intensely affected? Because we are born with different personalities and constitutions. Our distinctive ways of being influence our mental, emotional and physical responses to stress.

Homeopathic philosophy recognizes and honors our individual responses to stress and homeopathic remedies support children during difficult stages of growth and development.

Choosing a Remedy to Boost Confidence

Consider the remedies below and determine if one of them matches many characteristics of your child. No child will have every characteristic listed. These lists provide only a brief overview of the remedy picture.

Baryta Carb

Shy and nervous children who find social situations difficult. They lack self-confidence and are emotionally immature. They tend to be naïve and mentally sluggish.

  • Anxious
  • Bites fingernails
  • Concentration difficult
  • Easily embarrassed
  • Fearful in social situations and of strangers
  • Thinks everyone is laughing at him
  • Delayed intellectual development
  • Poor appetite, poor sleep, stunted growth

Lycopodium

Bookish children who dislike sports. They dread taking on new things, though they work hard and do well in spite of their nerves. They worry about many things and lack self-confidence.

  • Mature personality even at a young age
  • Good natured and easy to deal with
  • Aversion to responsibility
  • Worried about doing something wrong
  • Bites fingernails
  • Difficulty learning to read
  • Fear before exams
  • Fear of getting lost
  • Treats people very fairly, dispassionately
  • Kicks and screams at night without waking

Nat Mur

Sensitive, serious, intensely private children who appear prickly because they are not good at expressing their emotions. They suppress their feelings and dwell on old hurts. They are self-conscious.

  • Children who are difficult to have around
  • Life is difficult for them
  • “Don’t touch me!” attitude (works through difficulties alone)
  • Sad, carries a chip on her shoulder
  • Strong sense of duty and commitment to overseeing the welfare of others
  • Bites fingernails in private
  • Cannot hide displeasure
  • May have a poor relationship with one or both parents
  • Difficulty expressing needs and anger with words
  • Also read, Nat Mur:  A Remedy for (Almost) Everybody and Two Cases of Nat Mur

Silica

These children lack grit and self-confidence. They are sensitive and serious.  They will usually give way if pushed, but will quietly do what they wanted to do anyway.

  • Afraid to try anything new because she is convinced that she will fail
  • Anxious before exams
  • Shy around strangers
  • Very attached to home
  • Physically delicate and emotionally sensitive
  • May appear thin and malnourished
  • Conscientious and tidy
  • Asthma
  • Can’t fix attention
  • Conscientious
  • See also Restoring Balance with Cell Salts

Staphysagria

Sensitive children who are easily offended. They are angry and tend to blame others for their difficulties. They lack self-confidence and resent those who are doing better than they.

  • Angry, with difficulty expressing anger
  • Apathetic about everything
  • Compliant, conscientious and hard working
  • Take on too much work because it is hard for them to say no

Choose the remedy that is the best match for your child’s whole picture.

No remedy match?

There are many more homeopathic remedies that may be indicated for your child. If you want a complete consultation that will address all aspects of your child’s health and well-being, please contact a professional homeopath.

You can also take cell salts such as Calc Fluor or Calc Phos to boost self-esteem.

Raising self-confident and self-reliant children is a long-term endeavor. Children grow and learn when parents allow them to discover their own strengths and abilities by doing things on their own. When we choose our words carefully, the praise we offer is healthy, not harmful. When we allow ourselves be flexible and change our own ideas, out children learn and grow.

Update on Sara’s Reading

After a few doses of lycopdium, Sara began to sound out words.  Her mother found a series about a puppy named Biscuit and Sara wanted to read for the first time ever. She also began sleeping better at night.

Six months later, her reading level (as designated by the school protocol) jumped from level 11 to level 21. She is now reading at grade level and enjoying her first chapter books.

Where to Buy and How to Take Homeopathic Remedies

Homeopathic remedies may be purchased at most health food stores or through websites such as 1-800homeopathy. For remedies, select the 30c potency. For the cell salts, select 6x.

To take the remedy, open the remedy vial and shake 3-4 pellets into the cap. Tip the pellets into the mouth without touching the cap to the mouth. Allow the pellets to dissolve in the mouth.

Give your child the remedy every evening at bedtime, at least 15 minutes after eating, drinking, and brushing teeth. Continue for one week. Observe and note any changes. If he or she is doing better overall, stop taking the remedy. If symptoms come back, take the remedy for another week.

If you do not observe positive changes in sleep, digestion, behavior and/or confidence, select a different remedy or consult a homeopath who will guide you in selecting a remedy.

In matters of health and healing, be fanatical about self-responsibility. Cell Salts and homeopathic remedies enable you to participate actively in your own healing and may compliment the care your receive from your physician and therapists. You should continue to see your doctor for examinations and for advice and treatment.  Nothing on this site is intended as a substitute for medical advice.

References for this post:

Homoeopathic Sketches of Children’s Types

Homeopathic Guide to Stress: Safe and Effective Natural Way to Alleviate Physical and Emotional Stress Anxiety, Guilt, Shame, Depression, Loss, Illness and Injury, Negative Effect

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Homeopathy for Stressed Out Kids

One morning, my then seven-year old was near tears when he heard that he would be taking karate on Saturday. We did not impose karate on him. He has been expressing a keen interest in karate lessons for over a year and has great plans for beating up his brother. Yet he was despondent about giving up 30 minutes on Saturday morning. “Saturdays are supposed to be my time!”

Over-Scheduled, Over-Stressed

Children and adults often wonder when they will have some “me time.” With kids back in school, parents are lamenting that even their very young children complain of being stressed and overwhelmed.

I once sat with a few mothers of second graders so that our children could play and be kids. Fund-raiser sheets circulated — politely. Conversation was pleasant — if scattered since one child or another always needed a mother’s attention. There was joyful ruckus as the boys ran and played.

It was great. For an hour. Then everyone rushed off for sports practices and other activities.

I place great value on time for free play for children (and adults!)  But my family’s schedule is crowded too.  Music lessons, homeschool activities, martial arts, Saturday Ukrainian school, scouts, and choir concerts are on the agenda this fall. These are divided between three children. The pace is hectic — and sometimes stressful.

Homeopathy for School Anxiety and Pressure

A month ago, I wrote Three 5-Minute Tips for Making the Transition from Summer to School Easier. If you missed the original post, check it out now.  All of these tips remain relevant and will make for an easier school year.

This morning, one of my favorite homeopathy sites, 1-800-Homeopathy, posted an article titled Homeopathy Helps Students Rise to the Occasion. They suggest some great remedies for test and performance anxiety and recommend cell salts for calming.

If you’ve been reading for a while, you know that I am a BIG fan of cells salts.

I would like to offer my endorsement for the final recommendation from the 800-Homeopathy article:

“Nervous Tension Tissue P – With Kali phosCalc phos and other key homeopathic cell salts for growing pains and tension, this homeopathic remedy’s fundamental support can be called on anytime. Between adjusting to new teachers, classrooms, classmates, and leaving summer behind, the first days of school can be very stressful even for homeschoolers. Starting off strong and confident can set the pace for the whole year. With a little worry free support, you can minimize anxiety and maximize potential.”

Remember that homeopathy works best when remedies are prescribed for individuals rather than for conditions.  If you try the remedies recommended in the article and see some progress and then it stalls, or if you see no results, consider a consultation to find the perfect remedy for your child — or you.

Update:  Five Years Later

We’ve moved a few times, which necessitated changing martial arts schools. My son loves his tae kwon do classes and attends six or more each week. He is working toward a black belt.  And yes, he’s been taking his cell salts and remedies.

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Overcoming Mother Fears and Accessing Mother Power

If you had a preconceived notion of what your child would be like, how he or she would act, look and behave, what you are experiencing may not be want you wanted or expected. Letting go of our “dream child” can be difficult task. Even more difficult may be letting go of the “dream parent” we imagined we would be.

Our children will not be parented as we learned to parent (or not to parent) in our childhoods or by observing trends around us. We might find ourselves grieving the loss of the child that never materialized and mourning the parent that we wish to be, but cannot.

The Children We Wanted, the Child We Have

We know that there is no quick fix that will make our autistic or neurodivergent child into the dream child we envisioned (possibly without realizing that we had some picture in our minds) before they arrived.  There is no way to ease into the mode parenting we once imagined.

Our grief can blind us. It can prevent us from seeing the unique magnificence of the children we do have. It may keep us from experiencing the greatness of our own love and power.

Perfection

Either all children and parents are perfect – or none of us is. Perhaps in our trying and striving and doing our best, we are enough. Maybe our children are enough, without needing to do anything. Conversely, we might all fall short of the mark of perfection.

In either case, feeling miserable and acting inadequate serves none of us.

As we reflect on a day, we may sometimes feel that we’ve done well. On other days, we may be overwhelmed by our multitude of failures.

A Return to Love

Marianne Williamson recognized an important truth and penned it into what has been called a poem and a prayer. It is actually an excerpt from her book, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles.”

I invite you to read this passage (below in blue) and to tap on the suggested points.

As you tap, pay attention to what is happening in your body. Notice any memories or feelings that come to the surface. Write them down in a notebook to be tapped on later.

Do Your Own Experiment

In their book, Matrix Reimprinting Using EFT: Rewrite Your Past, Transform Your Future, Karl Dawson and Sasha Allenby suggest that it takes 21 days for new neural connections to form in the brain.

Tap on the script that follows for 21 days and notice any changes.

Contact a professional Matrix Reimprinting practitioner if you need help.

Feel Your Mother Power Tapping Script

Tapping Point Graphic by Karl Dawson

Tapping Point Graphic by Karl Dawson, author of Matrix Reimprinting

Our Greatest Fear is not that we are inadequate. (TH)

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. (BE)

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. (SE)

We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?” (UE)

Actually, who are you not to be? (UN)

You are a child of God.  (CH)

Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. (CB)

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. (UA)

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.  (Thumb)

It is not just in some of us, (Index Finger)

it is in every one, (Middle Finger)

And as we let our own light shine, (Ring Finger)

We unconsciously give other people Permission to do the same. (Little Finger)

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. (Karate Chop)

Options

When you have tapped on these words, try tapping from the perspective of “My greatest fear…” and “Her greatest fear.”

References

I read about tapping on these words in an article by eaglemoon raes.

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Matrix Magic: Rewriting Old Programs and Becoming the Mother You Want to Be

What don’t you like about yourself? What patterns do you see repeating in your life? How does this affect your parenting – and your happiness?

Broken Promises, Lies and Rejection

Shirley was devastated when her child, adopted at age 12, left for college and no longer wanted anything to do with the rest of the family. Soon after, Shirley was not accepted into a graduate degree program which she felt would have allowed her to develop her life’s passion. Even though she had a supportive family and a blossoming career, Shirley felt squashed by these rejections.

During an EFT session, Shirley realized that she has had a hole in her heart since childhood. Her workaholic father seemed to love his work more than he loved her.

Frustrated and Powerless

While those around her get what they want, Kendra gets more and more frustrated. When she worked in a preschool, the children did not listen to her. Now, her own children seem to ignore her when she speaks or asks for help. She feels unheard and invisible.

While tapping, Kendra recognized that from the time she was a little girl, she has felt as if no one heard her or noticed her needs.

Repeating Patterns

Many people feel scared, betrayed, lonely, and unlovable. For some of us, the source of these feelings is obvious:

  • Childhood abuse
  • Parents who put us down
  • Teachers who shamed us
  • A humiliating incident in our teens

For others, it appears that all was well in our growing-up years, yet we still encounter these feelings.

Whether we know where our feelings originate or the source is a mystery, most of us recognize that there are repeating patterns in our lives. Even if we do not recognize the patterns in our own actions and reactions, we inevitably see them in others.

Our perceptions about ourselves and of how life treats us are reflected in the way we speak and in the way we respond to our children’s behaviors.

Mothers of Autistic Kids

Mothers of autistic children experience more stressful events and have less time for themselves than the average mother. Their levels of maternal cortisol, a hormone released by the adrenal gland in response to stress, were found to be significantly lower than normal. This condition occurs under chronic stress, yielding profiles similar to those of combat soldiers and others who experience constant psychological stress.

When we are under stress, we are most likely to revert to old patterns of speaking and acting. Amazingly, we rely heavily on behaviors acquired before the age of seven.

Changing to Choose Our Behaviors

Using Matrix Reimprinting, you can rewrite old events and change the emotional hold they have on you.

I worked with Shirley and Kendra before I learned Matrix Reimiprinting. While we were able to soften the intensity of those early incidents, I did not have a means to give them tools for changing those painful scenes.

Now, when I work with clients with similar situations, I always use Matrix Reimprinting. For Shirley, we would step into an old scene, work with her younger self (ECHO) and allow her to speak with her father if she so chose. For Kendra, we would tap until a specific incident of feeling unheard emerged. We would then work with her ECHO to find a way to feel her power and strength. By working this way, we change habitual behavior patterns.

When we feel differently about ourselves, we experience the words and actions of our children differently and we respond in a new, healthy way.

Note

It has taken you a lifetime to acquire and cement your current behavior patterns.  Even with a brilliant technique like Matrix Reimprinting, you will not change them in one session.  You can expect the best results by committing to an on-going program of work with a Matrix Reimprinting practitioner and on your own.

References

For Mothers Of Children With Autism, The Caregiving Life Proves Stressful by Terry Devitt,http://insciences.org/article.php?article_id=7507

Transform Your Beliefs, Transform Your Life: EFT Tapping Using Matrix Reimprinting by Karl Dawson and Kate Marillat

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