There is magic in the air.  My windows are painted with frost.  The snow sparkles and squeaks.  It is very, very cold. 

Walking into Target to buy gift cards for teachers, I noticed a mother carrying a toddler bundled in a pillow- coat.  I fondly recalled my days of carrying puffy-clad children, first a bundle of pink and later, layers of blue.  All of the effort and care required to take my children out in the freezing temperatures was made worthwhile at the sight of their rosy cheeks and amazed eyes.

This season of love and giving is a good time to notice:  Mother Love is everywhere: cookies, baking; gifts, accumulating; stories, read; children, gloved and wrapped.

The Oldest Magic

What is magic?

“Magic is a bridge . . . that allows you to walk from the visible world over into the invisible world, and to learn the lessons of both those worlds.”

“And how can I learn to cross that bridge?”

“By discovering your own way of crossing it.  Everyone has their own way.”

~ Paulo Coelho in Brida

Magic is a prominent theme in my life these days.  I read about it, notice it, blog about it.  I open myself to experiencing magic and it shows up for me – usually in subtle, unexpected ways.

Bridge of Potentiality

I love the idea of magic as a bridge between the visible and invisible worlds, between the obvious and the subtle.  Mothers of Uniquely Magnificent children cross this bridge to see beyond the face value of “behaviors” and “traits.”  Part of the magic is seeing something wonderful in our children where others see misbehavior and dysfunction.

What Others May See……….What We See [1]

• Demanding………………… Holds High Standards
• Unpredictable……………  Flexible, creative problem solver
• Loud…………………………… Enthusiastic
• Argumentative…………… Committed to goals/beliefs
• Stubborn……………………  Willingness to persist
• Wild……………………………  Energetic
• Inflexible……………………. Traditional
• Anxious………………………  Cautious
• Picky…………………………… Selective
• Whiny…………………………  Analytical
• Distractable……………….. Perceptive, notices everything

The Most Ancient Magic

We can shift to seeing the positive in our children because of the deep love we feel for them.

An Example from the Harry Potter Books

Because Harry Potter’s mother used her own body to shield Harry from Volemort’s killing curse, Harry is imbued with life-long strength and protection.   Harry’s teacher and mentor, Albus Dumbledore, explains:  When your mother gave her life for you, she gave you the protection of her love. That kind of love is the most ancient magic. (Clickhere to read more about J. K. Rowling and Maternal Magic and here to read my thoughts on how the Harry Potter phenomenon relates to autistic kids.)

We will never have the opportunity for the kind of maternal magic the mothers in Harry Potter perform.  Most days, our love magic resembles the drudgery of house elves more than the glamor of brave and quick-witted witches.  Still, that leaves plenty of opportunities to sprinkle some love.

Mother Magic

Meal Magic

A woman making dinner is invisible.  To claim that she is engaged in healing her family and community and keeping her universe in balance is a lot to claim for dinner. (Susun S. Weed in Healing Wise.)

Have you ever wondered why, no matter how closely you follow the recipe, your grandmother’s apple pie does not taste the same when someone else makes it, or why there is such as thing as comfort food?  When food is prepared, the feelings of the cook are transmitted in a real way.  A meal thrown together in a hurry is usually eaten just as quickly.  Slow down and slice an apple with love and linger as your child eats, and you have a moment for connection.

Mundane Magic

Just as you can prepare meals with love, you can pour your love into any daily task.  Children feel our rushing and our patience, our confidence and our disgust.  We can infuse them with some of the oldest magic by bathing, reading, playing, working – and by letting them know that we trust them to do things on their own.

Protective Magic

Sometimes, we are called to use all of our powers and to protect our children.  When we stand up to bullies, teachers and friends to ensure that our children are seen and supported, we are using yet another Mother Magic.

Magic — not Martyrdom

Love is feeling and emotion and action.  Give what you have to give in your own way.  This is exactly what your children need.  Just as the wand chooses the wizard, your child chose you.  Your children do not need a perfect mother, they need you.

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. (source unknown)

Your love for your child will create a net of support for your child.  Even when he or she feels scared or angry or alone, your love will be there.  Like Lily’s love for Harry, your love will provide a protection that cannot be seen or measured, yet will be there your child life when he or she most needs it.

[1] These are from Mary Sheedy Kurcinka’s excellent book, Raising Your Spririted Child.

Enjoy the love and magic of the season!