Good Enough Parenting

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

This is the curious paradox: when we accept ourselves as we are, then we change. (Carl Rogers)

Mothering is Our Job

In our work as parents, we strive for an ideal. We know how we want our parenting to look: joyful connection with our children, preparation of healthy meals, living in a clean and beautiful environment, reading and playing together, gently supporting our children in times of need. As these tasks become impossibly difficult, we push and struggle and wonder why we can’t make it work. We beat ourselves up, blame situations or people or our history or situation.

Hating Parenting

A group of friends has been discussing some painful realizations:

I don’t want to play with my children.
There’s nothing I want more than time away from the kids.
I’m angry that he doesn’t talk.
I hate that she’s not potty trained.

Astute parents try to shift out of these feelings by feeling gratitude for the things they do like about their children, situations and themselves. Gratitude is a lovely practice, but faking it isn’t gratitude. It becomes another should (I should be grateful for my children. Why aren’t I?) The idea that we should be grateful becomes another reason for guilt and sorrow.

Radical Acceptance

When you experience such feelings, acknowledge them and love yourself anyway. Try some meridian tapping with phrases like those below. Modify the words so that they feel right. (If you don’t want to click the link, simply tap on your fingertips with the index finger of the other hand while saying the following.)

Even though I don’t want to play with my children, I can love myself anyway.
Even though I want to get away from my children, I am a good enough mother.
Even though I hate things about my child, I can consider forgiving myself.

Tap using those phrases for three rounds. Finish with a round of tapping “I have enough. I do enough. I am enough.”

The purpose of the tapping exercise is not to cheer up, but to love, accept and forgive yourself no matter what.

Keep Tapping

If you tapping on these phrases – or even just say them – you may be surprised one day to discover that you really do accept yourself as you are. Perhaps you will then be even more astonished that the ways and means for more satisfactory parenting and living show up for you.

Enoughness is the container of self-kindness. (Jennifer Louden)

Getting There

More quick ideas for reaching peace and acceptance:

1. Join the Swan Mothers’ Circle and learn to Love Life with Atypical Children

2. Soften your belly and breathe.

3. Lay on the couch for five minutes. Put an eye pillow scented with lavender on your eyes.

4. Have self-mercy and awareness in scared times.

5. Go outside. Walk. Dig. Lay on the Earth.

6. Gaze into the distance. Look up and out for a few minutes. See the big picture.

Several of the Getting There suggestions were inspired by Jennifer Louden’s words during an interview with Pace Smith. I highly recommend reading Jennifer Louden’s The Life Organizer: A Woman’s Guide to a Mindful Year and joining the Connection Revolution.

Tips for Helping Yourself

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Revealing Myself, Libra

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

Our bodies are made of stardust. The moon moves the waters of the world in an intricate pattern of rise and fall. The Earth’s angle toward and rotation around the sun dictate seasons for planting and reaping. Wise Women and Men have long recognized the influence of sun, stars, moon, and planets on life. For many of us, synchronizing projects, plans, and selves with celestial and terrestrial rhythms leads to increased enjoyment and productivity.

As part of my journey to embrace my Swan Mother Essence and to be my best self, I have joined the Magic and Wisdom Circle. During the cycle which begins when new moon in libra, our theme is self-love.

I decided to join the circle about a week ago. Though the circle was closed until the moon moved into libra this morning, self-love information began to show up for me as soon as my intention was set. Last week, I was reviewing an advance copy of Sasha Allenby‘s “Write an Evolutionary Self-Help Book.” In Chapter 3 – Your Life, Sasha writes:

Magical Mirror by Ironshod Digital Art / Drawings & Paintings / Fantasy©2009-2014 Ironshod via DeviantArt

Self-love is a term that is bandied about very flippantly in the self-help and transformation industries. Here, it is not a term that I am using lightly. If you did nothing else, other than commit to experiencing as much self-love as you have the capacity for in this given moment, and if you are committed to expanding that capacity in each moment, then all the other aspects of your life inventory will fall into place.

I wonder if you are willing to come on that kind of journey with me as we go through this book together? To put self-love at the heart of all you do?

Am I willing to put self-love at the heart of all I do? What a question! I turned off my Kindle and let the idea of self-love (putting it first being a leap I saved for another day), first.

Yesterday, YouTube suggested a video for me: Self Love – The Great Shortcut to Enlightenment by Teal Swan. Teal calls self-love the root from which everything grows.

By setting my intention, my journey to loving myself truly and deeply began. I am, in motion. As I appreciate all aspects of me and practice self-acceptance, I fill myself with a love and harmony so grand, they flow from me. And so it is.

Evolving through Parenting

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Two Words (Cruise Ship) Lead to New Thinking

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

From the archives. Fun conversations with my children when they were younger.

“If you were going to be on an island and could have only five things with you, what would you bring?” I asked my children at breakfast to stimulate conversation.

“What would you bring Mama?” Ellana asked before any of the children answered.

“Well,” I mused, carefully considering. “I would bring a knife, a butane lighter, a book about survival skills so that I would know what I could eat, a water purifier, and a blanket.”

I was quite proud of myself for coming up with this list on the spot. I meant to start a discussion with my children, not to have to think myself.

After my family nodded appreciatively (or so I imagined), I asked my youngest, “What would you bring Jonathon?”

He grinned broadly and his eyes sparkled. “A cruise ship . . .”

I don’t recall what he said next because I was stunned at the tremendous disparity of our answers. In the seconds before I replied, I contemplated, “What’s the right answer to this question?” My choices were logical and practical. I was thinking survival. It was going to be tough on that island. Like a good scout, I needed to plan and prepare, and to fortify myself.

Jonathon was not burdened with such limited thinking. He did not think, “How can I survive?” He thought, “How can I have everything I want? And why should I be restricted to the island?” Actually, he probably didn’t even think. He tuned in to my question and gave an answer that met all of his needs and desires.

All too often, I find myself stuck in limited thinking. I carefully contemplate how things “should” be: What is the proper way to act? Which are the correct items to bring?

My thinking limits and confines me.

A Prison of My Own Creation

A simple question, meant as a distraction while we waited for the server to bring our food, opened my eyes and my mind. Maybe you too have created an island prison?

For parents of today’s uniquely magnificent and unusually challenging children, it can appear that our children’s way of being is what keeps us separate from family, friends, activities, and society. All the evidence is there.

No one invites us over.
People give us dirty looks when our children act strange.
No one understands.
We have to do this alone.
We don’t get the support we need from our husbands/the school/the insurance company.

What if these stories we tell ourselves are our knives and blankets and lighters?

Could we can trade them in for a cruise ship and sail away in style?

Instead of thinking about how we would survive on the island, we could be sailing on open seas. Instead of thinking how to find food and shelter ourselves, we could imagine a top chef preparing our meals while we nap on deck or in our state rooms.

Back to Reality

Will you join me in examining your own limiting beliefs? Let’s make a shift from struggling for survival on a lonely island and seize control of our own destiny.

One Technique for Shifting

If all of the above sounds nice — but like nonsense — take a few minutes to try a bit of tapping. Using the points from my Super-Easy Tapping Guide, say some phrases like these:

Even though it seems crazy and impossible that there is an easy, magical solution to my problems, I am willing to consider that there might be.
Maybe this (name situation) could be surprisingly easy.
Maybe someone will offer to help me.
Maybe I’ll be amazed at how everything comes together and works out just fine.

A Request

I would really love for you to leave a comment. Let’s explore the assumptions that are keeping us isolated and restrained. Let’s find away to think differently.

Evolving through Parenting

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Be Not Afraid Homeopathy

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

The first homeopathic remedy I used was Hyland’s Teething Tablets. They offered my teething baby instant relief and I was duly impressed. I purchased them because I had read that these remedies were extremely safe for my baby. Then, I became intrigued. How did homeopathy work? What were these pellets?

I bought a few books and began reading about homeopathy. Soon, I was interested enough to enroll in an Introduction to Homeopathy class at the local community college.

Learning the Rules of Homeopathy

My teacher, Dr. Gregory Kruszewski DHMS, RN, CCH, RSHom, was a classically trained homeopath. He obviously loved his subject and knew it well.

I listened to the lectures enthralled. I fell in love with homeopathy and the need to study if forever. There was always more to learn. I loved its rules:

Treat the patient, not the disease.
Give only the minimum dose.

I researched what homeopaths recommended and bought a small home remedy kit.

I began using homeopathy very successfully — but very sparingly. All of the books I read warned not to give the remedies too often, not to give too many remedies, not to use high potencies. This could lead to “proving” the remedy (developing the very symptoms the remedy was intended to treat) or could change the person’s constitutional picture, making future treatment difficult.

I Become Afraid of Using Homeopathic Remedies

I started to become afraid. The more I learned, the more I used homeopathy — but always with an eye to not err or harm my children in some mysterious way.

I have always been a rule follower. This made me very popular with teachers and served me well in many situations. Eventually though, I realized that following all of the rules was detrimental to growth and expansion.

By the time I enrolled in the homeopathy program at the Institute of Natural Health Sciences (INHS), I had a reasonably good grasp on homeopathy. Enough that I was pretty scared to use it the way I felt drawn to use it.

At the INHS, a whole new world opened for me. The head instructor, Dr. Kenneth S. Pittaway, ND, PhD, urged us to use the remedies. He prescribed high potencies as often as low ones. I watched him switch remedies often, as the patients healed and changed.

My classmates, some of whom were completely new to homeopathy, jumped in with both feet. I watched in awe (and dismay) as they ordered remedies and began administering them for themselves and friends. I was certain that disastrous ramifications would develop: constitutional pictures would be forever affected, mystery symptoms would appear.

None of this happened. After taking the remedies, most people felt better. There were no ill-effects.

The Big Shift

Slowly, gently, I too began to use remedies with more confidence and more frequently. Suddenly, my reading and listening was revealing that Samuel Hahnemann (the founder of homeopathy) saw his patients frequently and changed remedies constantly. I realized that if one of the greatest healers of all times worked this way, I could learn from his example.

Don’t Be Afraid: Use Homeopathic Remedies to Heal Yourself and Your Family

As my perspective of what is right and wrong in homeopathy shifted, I discovered that the best way to learn was to use the remedies and to trust my own experience. I learned that homeopaths all over the world help people using endless variations of what I initially thought was one right way to practice homeopathy.

This is why I write these blogs and share with you how to use remedies to help yourself and your children. I believe that homeopathy and cell salts are real health care reform. Using them (and other natural health tools) empowers individuals to take charge of their own health.

I hope that you are reading the homeopathy and cell salts articles. If you read something and think, “That’s just like my kid! He has those exact issues,” please buy the remedy and try it.

Curious about safety? I discuss this more on the Homeopathy page. My most basic recommendation: Do not repeat potencies of 200c or higher frequently. Otherwise, use homeopathic remedies and cell salts. Give them in a way that supports your family’s needs. When you are better or, if after 3 doses you see no changes, stop the remedy and look for another remedy or healing modality.

Of course there are situations when a professional’s guidance will be of great value. Discover the power of homeopathic remedies by trying them on your own if this suits you. Then, schedule an appointment with a professional to experience deep healing.

Are You Afraid?

Do you have any questions or concerns about using homeopathic remedies? I’d love to hear them. Please comment in one of the boxes below.

Want to read more?

You can see all of my posts about homeopathy and cell salts by clicking here.

As always, I urge you to practice fanatical self-responsibility in your own health and in that of your family. Consult with your physician for medical advice.

Homeopathy & Cell Salts Tips for Helping Yourself

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Inspired Living

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

I’ve known for a while, but this week, my knowing erupted anew. It said, “Make the change! Put self-love at the heart of everything you do. Be who you are.”

This blog has been stalled and stale because I was trying to be who I was in the past and who (and how) I thought I was supposed to be now. I thought I’d learned the value of being myself years ago, but I seem to have forgotten what I learned, and new layers and opportunities continue to present themselves. Here’s what I know today:

Swan Mothers is not an autism blog, even though autism rocked my world and launched me into the most amazing journey of my life.

Swan Mothers is not a parenting blog, though parenting my three children (autistic and otherwise unique and wonderful) has been the most rewarding, challenging, and transformative aspect of that journey.

Swan Mothers is, first and foremost, a blog about the transformative aspect of the parenting journey, and of life. It is about being my Truest, Brightest Self and sharing what I’ve learned with you. It is a space to consider where I’ve been and where I’m going, but most of all, to shine who I Am.

Enter Felix Felicis

Felix Felicis by 1995levente via DeviantArt

As I pondered the question of what to do with this awareness, a scene from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince popped into my head. In it, Harry takes a sip of Felix Felicis, also known as liquid luck, to help him accomplish a task in which he’d made no progress after months of trying. After drinking a few drops, he immediately knows what to do. His eyes light up and he says, “I have a really good feeling about this,” as he dashes off following inspiration, rather his carefully-laid plan.

This scene exemplifies Inspired Action. I have felt the frustration of doing, for the sake of doing. I have experienced little success in achieving my goals when taking action because it was the next logical step, or because an expert suggested it.

Henceforth, I shall act (and write) from with the spirit of Felix Felicis, wallowing in the sensation of infinite opportunity. I shall allow for periods of dormancy, stillness, and growth. And, when I am inspired to act, I shall follow Knowing and Inspiration, ready to be lucky in my endeavors.

Evolving through Parenting

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When Clothes Hurt, Homeopathy Can Help

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

Many autistic children are very sensitive. For these children, clothing may be uncomfortable to the point of being intolerable.

Mothers or the children often develop coping strategies:

Socks worn inside out so the seams don’t rub.
Tags taped to minimize scratching.
Sweat pants substituted for jeans.

Some children refuse to wear the offensive items. Bare feet work well in some situations. In others, socks are needed for hygiene or safety reasons. Similarly, there are times when pants or a jacket are highly beneficial.

Of course, children don’t need to be autistic or have SPD to be sensitive to clothes. These remedy descriptions are relevant to all children and adults.

Making It Easier to Wear Socks (and other clothes)

I recently wrote a blog post describing how EFT may be used to eliminate some issues related to hyper-sensitivity.

Homeopathy too recognizes the issue of clothing sensitivity – and many other sensitivities.

There are thousands of homeopathic remedies. Some, most notably first aid remedies, are indicated for specific conditions. Other remedies are indicated for specific people.

When looking at issues like sensitivity, it is best to seek a constitutional remedy for your child. Work with a professional homeopath who will look at your child’s whole picture. She will consider your child’s physical, mental and emotional health and signs and symptoms of disturbances in the vital force. Everything is important to the homeopath: your child’s food preferences, times of day or year when they are better or worse, sleep habits, digestive issues, personality — everything!

Choosing a Remedy to Alleviate Clothing Intolerance

Below I describe some remedies a homeopath may consider for an individual who is agitated or disturbed by their clothing. I have not indicated “intolerance of clothing” in describing the types of children who might require these remedies since it is common to all of the remedies listed.

Study the remedy pictures below and see if one of them matches many characteristics of your child. No child will have every trait and symptom listed. Note that these lists provide only a brief overview of the remedy picture.

Calcarea Carbonica

Mental State

If your child is afraid of the dark, dogs, insects, strangers or illness, this remedy may be useful for him.

Calc Carb children are serious and independent.

Physical Signs

Calc Carb children are often slow learning to walk and talk. They crave sugar, eggs, and milk products.

These children tend to be chubby – though if your child is thin and matches the other characteristics, this may still be the remedy they need. They perspire profusely on the head.

They are prone to ear infections, sore throats, and runny noses.

They have sensitive mouths and may develop canker sores.

Lachesis

Mental State

Lachesis children are dictatorial and extremely talkative (this includes babble). They are intensely uncomfortable in tight clothes and particularly dislike having anything on their throats or around their necks.

They have a tendency to be jealous and very attached to their mothers.

Physical Signs

For these children, all illness begins on the left side. All symptoms are aggravated by sleep.

They may be susceptible to head lice.

Lycopodium

Mental State

Highly intelligent children who dread taking on new things, though they work hard and do well in spite of their nerves. They worry about many things and lack self-confidence. (Lycopodium is also discussed in the article Super-Easy Homeopathy for Boosting Kids’ Confidence)

Lycopodium children exhibit a mature personality even at a young age. They have an aversion to responsibility and worry about doing something wrong.

They often have difficulty learning to read and may be dyslexic.

Physical Signs

The children are opposite from Lachesis children. Their ailments start in the right side of the body.

Nat Mur

I have written several times about Nat Mur. Please see Nat Mur: A Remedy for (Almost) Everybody.

No match?

There are hundreds of other homeopathic remedies. Any one of them may be the one indicated for your child.

Where to Buy and How to Take Homeopathic Remedies

Homeopathic remedies may be purchased at most health food stores or through websites such as 1-800homeopathy. Select the 30c potency.

To take the remedy, open the remedy vial and shake 3-4 pellets into the cap. Tip the pellets into the mouth without touching the cap to the mouth. Allow the pellets to dissolve in the mouth.

Give your child the remedy every evening at bedtime, at least 15 minutes after eating, drinking, and brushing teeth. Continue for one week. Observe and note any changes. If he or she is doing better, stop taking the remedy. If symptoms resume later, take the remedy again.

If you do not observe positive changes in sleep, behavior and/or confidence, select a different remedy or consult a homeopath who can guide you in selecting a remedy.

In matters of health and healing, be fanatical about self-responsibility. Cell Salts and homeopathic remedies enable you to participate actively in your own healing. You should continue to see your doctor for examinations, advice and treatment. Nothing on this site is intended as a substitute for medical advice.

References for this post:

Catherine R. Coulter: Homoeopathic Sketches of Children’s Types.

Didier Grandgeorge, MD: The Spirit of Homeopathic Medicines: Essential Insights to 300 Remedies.

Homeopathy & Cell Salts Making Children More Comfortable

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Matrix Magic for Sensitive Children

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

Many children today are very sensitive. Tight clothes and seams are intolerable to them. Loud noises and bright lights overwhelm them. They are upset in crowded rooms.

The sights, sounds and sensations that go un-noticed by most people may be unbearable to autistic children and those with sensory integration differences.

Meridian Tapping (EFT) is an easy technique that might help highly sensitive children to be more comfortable in clothes and in life. Meridian Tapping involves tapping on specific points on the body while saying words related to the discomfort.

To learn to tap, please click here to view my Super Easy Tapping Guide.

Once you understand the basic tapping formula, try the following super-easy tapping method to manage and moderate sensitivities.

Begin With Yourself

Tap your karate chop point and say these set-up phrases:

Even though my child is so sensitive and it makes my life difficult, I’m still a good mother.
Even though he complains about everything and it is driving me crazy, I can be okay with myself.
Even though it is hard to constantly placate him, I’m still a good person.

Next, tap through the points alternating the reminder phrases:

My life is difficult.
Little things are a big deal.

If these phrases don’t feel right to you, adjust them so they fit your feelings and your situation.

After a round or more of tapping on the problem, begin alternating the problem phrase with a choice phrase. For example:

TH:	My life is difficult.
IE:	I choose to be easy on myself.
OE:	Every little thing is an issue.
UE:	I choose to be o.k. with that.
UN:	My life is difficult.
CH:	I choose to be easy on myself.
CB:	Every little thing is an issue.
UA:	I choose to be o.k. with that.
TF:	My life is difficult.
IF:	I choose to be easy on myself.
MF:	Every little thing is an issue.
RF:	I choose to be o.k. with that.
LF:	I choose to experience joy every day.

Finally, do a whole round of tapping using positive choice statements such as:

I choose be okay with this.
I choose to like my life.

Tap with Your Child

Once you are in a good space with regarding your child’s sensitivities, you may consider working with your child. Always do your own work first. If you are upset, you will not be able to help her.

Do not try to teach your child to tap in the heat of the moment. She will not be receptive.

The first time you tap with your child, choose a calm, quiet time. I like to tap with my children at bedtime.

Begin with a gentle explanation that is appropriate for your child. “I have learned a magical way to make you feel better. Would you like to try it?”

You know your child best. Choose one of these methods for tapping or present your child with these choices:

1. Tap gently on your child while saying the phrases.

2. Instead of tapping, touch the tapping points gently while saying the phrases.

3. Model for your child by tapping on yourself. Encourage your child to tap on herself if she is receptive.

4. Use a doll or stuffed bear to demonstrate the tapping. Encourage your child to tap on the bear while saying the phrases. You can ask, “How does bear feel when he puts on his socks?” Let your child use her own words as she taps.

5. Use words that appeal to your child.

Set-up phrase: Even though socks hurt my feet and I want to scream, I’m still a great kid.

Tap using the formula demonstrated and described in the Super-Easy Tapping Guide.

Facilitating Comfort, Not Eliminating Ways of Being

Many autistic teens and adults say that, though their sensitivities may be painful or challenging, they would not want to give them up for it is through this intense sensitivity that they have their own experience of the world. Meridian Tapping will not want to change our children into us. It will help them to be as comfortable as possible while retaining all of their gifts.

Bigger Shifts: Matrix Reimprinting for Sensitive Children

Many children experience early traumas. Birth is traumatic. Some children receive harsh interventions as soon as they are born. Children might feel traumatized by separations from their mother, accidents, deaths in the family, being very scared for whatever reason — or a hundred other things.

Through Matrix Reimprinting work, we know that these events and incidents leave a mark on the child that will last until adulthood if it is not healed. Using surrogate Matrix Reimprinting, we can rewrite these events for the child.

If such work interests you, please join me in Group Healing Work and how reimprinting these early events can transform your child’s life.

You can also support your child with homeopathic remedies and cell salts.

Be gentle with your child. Be gentle with yourself. Have a peaceful day.

Making Children More Comfortable Tips for Helping Yourself

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Self-Care for Mothers: Be Your Own Top Priority for a Few Minutes a Day

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

Why is it so easy to be smart about other people and so difficult to be smart for ourselves?

My upper foot arm has been hurting since May. I waited two months before seeking healing assistance or doing anything about it.

If my children or husband announce a pain, I immediately pull out homeopathic remedies and research the symptoms. I suggest a visit to the chiropractor or a healer. For myself? I ignore symptoms and wait. Yikes!

Taking Yourself Off the Back Burner

On an airplane, we are directed to put on our own oxygen mask before assisting others. We cannot help our children if we are not breathing. How often to you forget to metaphorically breathe?

The list of things we have to do is long. We cook, shop, drive, bath, conflict-mediate, drive some more, clean, coach, cuddle, coddle. We volunteer at school and scouts and soccer and do our day jobs.

Taking care of ourselves falls to the bottom of the list.

When we do not care for ourselves, resentment builds. We wonder why no one is taking care of us. Why should they when we demonstrate our Wonder Woman-ness all the time, subtly declaring, “I’ve got it! I can do that for you. I’m not important. I don’t need anything .”

Victim to Creator in 10-minutes per Day

You can do all of these exercises in one 10-minute stretch or do them one at a time throughout the day.

1 Minute: Do the Thymus Thump.

Using your fingers, tap gently on the middle of your chest, directly on your sternum. While you tap, breathe slowly and deeply.

This exercise will stimulate your energies, boost your immune system, and release stress.

It really works. Try it now for 30 – 60 seconds and feel yourself come alive.

2 Minutes: Breathe

Over-recommended and under-utilized, breath is the surest, easiest way to center and calm yourself. Breath takes you out of the stressful fight or flight mode we live in much of the time and shifts the physiological processes in the body. Conscious breathing

increases ability to digest/absorb nutrients
releases hormones to balance the endocrine system
promotes healing

Imagine that your abdomen is a cylindrical container. Breathe in through your nose. For a count of three, feel the bottom of the cylinder pushing down. Continue to breathe in for a count of three more as you feel the sides of the cylinder expand. Continue to breathe in for a count of three more as you feel the top of the cylinder push up. Reverse for the exhale: top pushes down, sides push in, bottom pushes up. Continue for two minutes or at least until you have completed three full breaths in and out.

3 Minutes: Connect with the World

In Women Who Run with the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D., writes, “…many times it is the things of nature that are the most healing, especially the very accessible and the very simple ones. The medicines of nature and powerful and straightforward…”

Take three minutes to go outside. Gaze at the stars or the clouds. Lay down on the grass. Sniff the air. Feel the warmth of the sun or the chill of the night.

Three minutes immersed in the enormity and continuance of the world will connect you to a force that will sustain and inspire you when you return to your ordinary busyness.

4 Minutes: Write a List of Positive Aspects

Most days, we do a lot of things right. Most days our children and partners and those around us do something that uplifts us. In every day, there is something good.

Oprah and a hundred other people extol the value of gratitude lists and journals. This is because we find what we seek. If you look for the good in your children and those around you, you will see it.

Buy a journal and label it “Book of Positive Aspects.” Each day, take four minutes to write down a few satisfactory things about you day. Can’t think of anything? Take a minute to breathe in and out of your heart and try again. ♥

What you did well.
Things you appreciate about your children and your partner.
Great features of your home or work life.

If you prefer group support, visit My Everyday Magic, a daily gratitude blogs hosted and visited by beautiful people.

That’s it! By doing these four simple exercises, you will be your own top priority for at least ten minutes each day. The good feelings you generate will overflow into the rest of the day.

In matters of health and healing, be fanatical about self-responsibility. Check facts and carefully evaluate if suggestions are right for you and your children.

Evolving through Parenting

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Super-Easy Homeopathy for Boosting Kids’ Confidence

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

“I’m the worst reader in the class,” Sara announced mid-first grade. “I’m just dumb.”

Sara’s mother was heart-broken hearing her six-year old say these words. Sara was a polite, kind, and obviously intelligent girl. Yet, because she saw other children reading chapter books while she struggled with simple readers, she had become convinced that she was stupid.

Another child might have shrugged off her lack of reading skills with, “Oh well. I’m really good at soccer. I’ll figure out reading one of these days.” For Sara, the conviction that she was inferior to her peers carried over to other parts of her life. She walked around with her head hanging. She decided that she was also a bad dancer and that no one wanted to play with her.

Why do some children move through set-backs and while others are intensely affected? Because we are born with different personalities and constitutions. Our distinctive ways of being influence our mental, emotional and physical responses to stress.

Homeopathic philosophy recognizes and honors our individual responses to stress and homeopathic remedies support children during difficult stages of growth and development.

Choosing a Remedy to Boost Confidence

Consider the remedies below and determine if one of them matches many characteristics of your child. No child will have every characteristic listed. These lists provide only a brief overview of the remedy picture.

Baryta Carb

Shy and nervous children who find social situations difficult. They lack self-confidence and are emotionally immature. They tend to be naïve and mentally sluggish.

Anxious
Bites fingernails
Concentration difficult
Easily embarrassed
Fearful in social situations and of strangers
Thinks everyone is laughing at him
Delayed intellectual development
Poor appetite, poor sleep, stunted growth

Lycopodium

Bookish children who dislike sports. They dread taking on new things, though they work hard and do well in spite of their nerves. They worry about many things and lack self-confidence.

Mature personality even at a young age
Good natured and easy to deal with
Aversion to responsibility
Worried about doing something wrong
Bites fingernails
Difficulty learning to read
Fear before exams
Fear of getting lost
Treats people very fairly, dispassionately
Kicks and screams at night without waking

Nat Mur

Sensitive, serious, intensely private children who appear prickly because they are not good at expressing their emotions. They suppress their feelings and dwell on old hurts. They are self-conscious.

Children who are difficult to have around
Life is difficult for them
“Don’t touch me!” attitude (works through difficulties alone)
Sad, carries a chip on her shoulder
Strong sense of duty and commitment to overseeing the welfare of others
Bites fingernails in private
Cannot hide displeasure
May have a poor relationship with one or both parents
Difficulty expressing needs and anger with words
Also read, Nat Mur: A Remedy for (Almost) Everybody and Two Cases of Nat Mur

Silica

These children lack grit and self-confidence. They are sensitive and serious. They will usually give way if pushed, but will quietly do what they wanted to do anyway.

Afraid to try anything new because she is convinced that she will fail
Anxious before exams
Shy around strangers
Very attached to home
Physically delicate and emotionally sensitive
May appear thin and malnourished
Conscientious and tidy
Asthma
Can’t fix attention
Conscientious
See also Restoring Balance with Cell Salts

Staphysagria

Sensitive children who are easily offended. They are angry and tend to blame others for their difficulties. They lack self-confidence and resent those who are doing better than they.

Angry, with difficulty expressing anger
Apathetic about everything
Compliant, conscientious and hard working
Take on too much work because it is hard for them to say no

Choose the remedy that is the best match for your child’s whole picture.

No remedy match?

There are many more homeopathic remedies that may be indicated for your child. If you want a complete consultation that will address all aspects of your child’s health and well-being, please contact a professional homeopath.

You can also take cell salts such as Calc Fluor or Calc Phos to boost self-esteem.

Raising self-confident and self-reliant children is a long-term endeavor. Children grow and learn when parents allow them to discover their own strengths and abilities by doing things on their own. When we choose our words carefully, the praise we offer is healthy, not harmful. When we allow ourselves be flexible and change our own ideas, out children learn and grow.

Update on Sara’s Reading

After a few doses of lycopdium, Sara began to sound out words. Her mother found a series about a puppy named Biscuit and Sara wanted to read for the first time ever. She also began sleeping better at night.

Six months later, her reading level (as designated by the school protocol) jumped from level 11 to level 21. She is now reading at grade level and enjoying her first chapter books.

Where to Buy and How to Take Homeopathic Remedies

Homeopathic remedies may be purchased at most health food stores or through websites such as 1-800homeopathy. For remedies, select the 30c potency. For the cell salts, select 6x.

To take the remedy, open the remedy vial and shake 3-4 pellets into the cap. Tip the pellets into the mouth without touching the cap to the mouth. Allow the pellets to dissolve in the mouth.

Give your child the remedy every evening at bedtime, at least 15 minutes after eating, drinking, and brushing teeth. Continue for one week. Observe and note any changes. If he or she is doing better overall, stop taking the remedy. If symptoms come back, take the remedy for another week.

If you do not observe positive changes in sleep, digestion, behavior and/or confidence, select a different remedy or consult a homeopath who will guide you in selecting a remedy.

In matters of health and healing, be fanatical about self-responsibility. Cell Salts and homeopathic remedies enable you to participate actively in your own healing and may compliment the care your receive from your physician and therapists. You should continue to see your doctor for examinations and for advice and treatment. Nothing on this site is intended as a substitute for medical advice.

References for this post:

Homoeopathic Sketches of Children’s Types

Homeopathic Guide to Stress: Safe and Effective Natural Way to Alleviate Physical and Emotional Stress Anxiety, Guilt, Shame, Depression, Loss, Illness and Injury, Negative Effect

Homeopathy & Cell Salts Making Children More Comfortable Tips for Helping Yourself

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Homeopathy for Children Affected by Moon Cycles

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

Daniel had been attending an adaptive swim class for over a year. Each week, four autistic boys are taught by two wonderful instructors. Watching the boys’ progress was been exciting. Daniel, who was already a decent swimmer when he joined the class (but was overwhelmed by larger group classes) advanced to learning the butterfly stroke. One of the other boys, who just the previous year refused to put his head underwater, was swimming on his own. All of them enjoyed the hour of swimming, floating, playing water basketball, and jumping.

One day, we entered the athletic club with only one minute to spare, so I encouraged Daniel to hurry. He became so upset that it took me 30 minutes to help him calm down. This is very unusual for him. During the class, two of the other boys were also acting in ways we do not usually see.

As we drove to class, I had noticed that the moon was very large and round. A quick check confirmed that the full moon is only a few hours away.

Do the lunar cycles affect your child?

Homeopathy 102

One of the tenets of homeopathy is individualization. When I am asked, “Is there a really a homeopathic remedy for my child having more tantrums during the full moon?” I reply that there are at least 51 possible remedies that incorporate this symptom. There is also one particular remedy that is the perfect match for each individual.

The way homeopaths learn what a homeopathic medicine will cure is through the use of experiments called drug provings. Healthy individuals take the remedy being tested until a reaction to the substance is achieved. Subjects report all symptoms that occur while the remedy is being proved.

The information obtained from proving is compiled into materia medicas (encyclopedias of drug effects) and repertories (books which list symptoms and the substances that have been found to cause and/or cure them).

Homeopathic Remedies and Lunar Phases

My repertory lists remedies for aggravations during the full moon, the new moon, the waxing moon, and the waning moon. Even if each of the four boys in the swimming class experiences an aggravation of symptoms with the arrival of the full moon, each will probably need a different remedy.

Remedies Indicated for Individuals Whose Symptoms are Worse Around the Time of the Full Moon

1. Argentum Nitricum

a. A remedy for anxious children with anxiety in crowded rooms and fear of heights

b. Desire sugar

c. Anxiety about time and space

2. Calcarea Carbonica

a. For fearful children (fear dogs and/or dark and/or illness)

b. Often slow learning to walk and talk

c. Crave eggs, sugar and milk products

3. Lycopodium

a. Do you joke that your child was a king or queen in a previous life? Children who need this remedy seem to want to recover power lost but lack self-confidence.

b. Intelligent and stubborn

c. Read more about the Lycopodium picture in these posts:

4. Phosphorus

a. Children who blaze brightly, then burn out

b. Crave salt and are very thirsty

c. Subject to nosebleeds

5. Pulsatilla

a. Clingy children, very attached to mother

b. Absence of thirst

c. Frequent colds, ear infections, asthma

6. Silica

a. Thin children who lack grit

b. Very smart, but shy and try not to stand out

c. Lack self-confidence

Remedies Indicated for Individuals Whose Symptoms are Worse Around the Time of the New Moon

1. Arsenicum Album

a. Very restless and anxious children with intense obsessions

b. Tend to have burning pains that are relieved by heat

c. Fear death and being left alone

2. Nux Vomica

a. Irritable

b. Hypersensitive to noise and light. These children do not like music.

c. Very fussy and want every detail in place

3. Phosphorus

a. See above. Affected during full and new moon.

4. Pulsatilla

a. See above. Affected during full and new moon.

5. Rhus-tox

a. Sick during teething

b. Subject to sprains and strains of joints

6. Sulphur

a. Subject to skin diseases such as eczema

b. Tendency to smell bad, possibly like rotten eggs

c. May look sloppy and love to have fun

Gaining Insights

These very brief descriptions of some aspects of the remedies are provided as an illustration. They are not sufficient for self-prescribing. I hope that they give you a peek at the range of action and healing potential of homeopathic remedies.

A remedy is prescribed on the whole picture of the individual, including physical, mental, and emotional symptoms. If your child’s symptoms are aggravated with the full or new moon, this provides the homeopath a clue to finding a remedy that will be helpful in improving overall health and balance.

Homeopathy was an important part of my parenting/mothering and self-discovery journey. Read all about it in Swan Mothers: Discovering Our True Selves by Parenting Uniquely Magnificent Children.

Homeopathy & Cell Salts Making Children More Comfortable

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Discovering Ourselves through Parenting

Mothering is Our Job

Hating Parenting

Radical Acceptance

Keep Tapping

Getting There

My thinking limits and confines me.

A Prison of My Own Creation

What if these stories we tell ourselves are our knives and blankets and lighters?

Could we can trade them in for a cruise ship and sail away in style?

Back to Reality

One Technique for Shifting

A Request

Learning the Rules of Homeopathy

I Become Afraid of Using Homeopathic Remedies

The Big Shift

Don’t Be Afraid: Use Homeopathic Remedies to Heal Yourself and Your Family

Are You Afraid?

Want to read more?

Enter Felix Felicis

Making It Easier to Wear Socks (and other clothes)

Choosing a Remedy to Alleviate Clothing Intolerance

Calcarea Carbonica

Mental State

Physical Signs

Lachesis

Mental State

Physical Signs

Lycopodium

Mental State

Physical Signs

Nat Mur

No match?

Where to Buy and How to Take Homeopathic Remedies

References for this post:

Begin With Yourself

Tap with Your Child

The first time you tap with your child, choose a calm, quiet time. I like to tap with my children at bedtime.

Facilitating Comfort, Not Eliminating Ways of Being

Bigger Shifts: Matrix Reimprinting for Sensitive Children

Taking Yourself Off the Back Burner

Victim to Creator in 10-minutes per Day

1 Minute: Do the Thymus Thump.

2 Minutes: Breathe

3 Minutes: Connect with the World

4 Minutes: Write a List of Positive Aspects

Choosing a Remedy to Boost Confidence

Baryta Carb

Lycopodium

Nat Mur

Silica

Staphysagria

Choose the remedy that is the best match for your child’s whole picture.

No remedy match?

You can also take cell salts such as Calc Fluor or Calc Phos to boost self-esteem.

Update on Sara’s Reading

Where to Buy and How to Take Homeopathic Remedies

References for this post:

Homeopathy 102

Homeopathic Remedies and Lunar Phases

Remedies Indicated for Individuals Whose Symptoms are Worse Around the Time of the Full Moon

1. Argentum Nitricum

2. Calcarea Carbonica

3. Lycopodium

4. Phosphorus

5. Pulsatilla

6. Silica

Remedies Indicated for Individuals Whose Symptoms are Worse Around the Time of the New Moon

1. Arsenicum Album

2. Nux Vomica

3. Phosphorus

4. Pulsatilla

5. Rhus-tox

6. Sulphur

Gaining Insights

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