Swan Mothers

Discovering Ourselves through Parenting

Matrix Magic: Rewriting Old Programs and Becoming the Mother You Want to Be

on August 29, 2014

What don’t you like about yourself? What patterns do you see repeating in your life? How does this affect your parenting – and your happiness?

Broken Promises, Lies and Rejection

Shirley was devastated when her child, adopted at age 12, left for college and no longer wanted anything to do with the rest of the family. Soon after, Shirley was not accepted into a graduate degree program which she felt would have allowed her to develop her life’s passion. Even though she had a supportive family and a blossoming career, Shirley felt squashed by these rejections.

During an EFT session, Shirley realized that she has had a hole in her heart since childhood. Her workaholic father seemed to love his work more than he loved her.

Frustrated and Powerless

While those around her get what they want, Kendra gets more and more frustrated. When she worked in a preschool, the children did not listen to her. Now, her own children seem to ignore her when she speaks or asks for help. She feels unheard and invisible.

While tapping, Kendra recognized that from the time she was a little girl, she has felt as if no one heard her or noticed her needs.

Repeating Patterns

Many people feel scared, betrayed, lonely, and unlovable. For some of us, the source of these feelings is obvious:

  • Childhood abuse
  • Parents who put us down
  • Teachers who shamed us
  • A humiliating incident in our teens

For others, it appears that all was well in our growing-up years, yet we still encounter these feelings.

Whether we know where our feelings originate or the source is a mystery, most of us recognize that there are repeating patterns in our lives. Even if we do not recognize the patterns in our own actions and reactions, we inevitably see them in others.

Our perceptions about ourselves and of how life treats us are reflected in the way we speak and in the way we respond to our children’s behaviors.

Mothers of Autistic Kids

Mothers of autistic children experience more stressful events and have less time for themselves than the average mother. Their levels of maternal cortisol, a hormone released by the adrenal gland in response to stress, were found to be significantly lower than normal. This condition occurs under chronic stress, yielding profiles similar to those of combat soldiers and others who experience constant psychological stress.

When we are under stress, we are most likely to revert to old patterns of speaking and acting. Amazingly, we rely heavily on behaviors acquired before the age of seven.

Changing to Choose Our Behaviors

Using Matrix Reimprinting, you can rewrite old events and change the emotional hold they have on you.

I worked with Shirley and Kendra before I learned Matrix Reimiprinting. While we were able to soften the intensity of those early incidents, I did not have a means to give them tools for changing those painful scenes.

Now, when I work with clients with similar situations, I always use Matrix Reimprinting. For Shirley, we would step into an old scene, work with her younger self (ECHO) and allow her to speak with her father if she so chose. For Kendra, we would tap until a specific incident of feeling unheard emerged. We would then work with her ECHO to find a way to feel her power and strength. By working this way, we change habitual behavior patterns.

When we feel differently about ourselves, we experience the words and actions of our children differently and we respond in a new, healthy way.

Note

It has taken you a lifetime to acquire and cement your current behavior patterns.  Even with a brilliant technique like Matrix Reimprinting, you will not change them in one session.  You can expect the best results by committing to an on-going program of work with a Matrix Reimprinting practitioner and on your own.

References

For Mothers Of Children With Autism, The Caregiving Life Proves Stressful by Terry Devitt,http://insciences.org/article.php?article_id=7507

Transform Your Beliefs, Transform Your Life: EFT Tapping Using Matrix Reimprinting by Karl Dawson and Kate Marillat

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