Swan Mothers

Discovering Ourselves through Parenting

Making Your Own Lucky Day

Irish history is filled with difficult times that make the heart weep:  invasion, colonization, exploitation, starvation. Does this suggest that the Luck of Irish is bad luck?

Or, does the phrase “Luck of the Irish” have its origin in the days of the Wild West (in the United States) when many Irish people struck it rich during the Gold Rush or were prosperous in silver mining? Sadly, this metallically auspicious time has a shadow.  Many non-Irish Americans of those days didn’t think the Irish were capable of success through intelligence or hard work, so they attributed the accomplishments of the Irish to luck.

What do you think?  Are some people just lucky, while others are not?

Dictionary.com Says

luck [luhk]

noun

1.  the force that seems to operate for good or ill in a person’s life, as in shaping circumstances, events, or opportunities: With my luck I’ll probably get pneumonia.
 
2.  good fortune; advantage or success, considered as the result of chance: He had no luck finding work.
 

Creating Reality

Lucky me! I have children who are anything but normal. If they were normal, they would have been subject to living slightly improved replicas of my and my husband’s life.

Because my children are not mini-mes or mini-their-daddys, they get to live their own lives. And, their magnificent uniqueness has made me a better me.

Lucky Mothers of Unusual Kids

Rhonda K. Welling posted the following on my Facebook Page and gave me permission to share.  I read similar stories almost daily:  Mothers who, at first, feel unlucky because their children have autism, or ADHD, or a hearing disability, or extreme crankiness, become grateful for the children and lives they have.

Before my son, I lived a life I wasn’t proud of. I took a lot, and I mean a lot, of things for granted. When Anthony was diagnosed with autism, I honestly didn’t know anything about autism and was one of them people who thought I never had to worry about it cause I would never have to deal with it.

My son taught me to look at the world through the eyes of a child with autism. He taught me not to take the small things for granted, for example, rain, sand, grass, trees, clouds. Not to ever take for granted the words a child speaks to you. He actually stopped talking for 2 years. And 3 years after his diagnosis, he said “Anthony love mama this much” and he stretched out his little arms as far as they would go. Just them few words changed my life forever. I didn’t see autism at that point. I seen what a beautiful boy I was blessed with.

You have no idea how much it annoys me to hear someone tell their child to be quiet or even worse..shut up because what these people don’t think about is sometimes they do. I missed hearing his voice, hearing his laugh, seeing his smile.

He is 8 years old now and he has taught me to see beauty in the small things, including autism. It’s amazing to me that they say parents teach their kids, but I think in a true sense Anthony has taught me more then I could ever learn from some book. He has taught me unconditional love and acceptance of everyone and everything around me.

Becoming the Force

“You get what you get and you don’t get upset,” children learn to chant in kindergarten.

The truth is, we do get upset. We grieve. We rage. We yell at our children. We also heal, change, and evolve. We become the Force in our children’s lives, in our own lives, and in the world.

“The force is an energy field created by all living things, it surrounds us, it penetrates us, it binds the galaxy together.” Obi-Wan to Luke

I became the Force in my life by learning about and using homeopathic remediestapping on my meridian points, and embracing ideas that, at one time, would have been unimaginable for me. I evinced my role as the Conscious Creator of my life.

How are you unleashing the Force in Your Life?

I’d love to know.  Leave a comment or send me a note. Or stop by the Swan Mothers’ Group and start a conversation.  You are not alone.

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Stop Combating People

Photo 26Before I had children and early in the parenting journey, I thought it was my job to mold my children into kind, intelligent, and self-sufficient beings. That they would speak properly, have good table manners, be polite, and do well at school was presumed, a baseline. These were my assumptions before autism rocked my world, before one child was diagnosed autistic, before I realized the other two were anything by typical. Diagnosis and confusing-to-me behaviors did not immediately change my perception. I simply resolved to work harder to mold my children into the kind, polite, intelligent, and self-sufficient beings they were supposed to be.

I ALWAYS loved my children. I always strove to be the mother they needed. I did my best to be patient and supportive. But I did believe that it was my job to make them be/act/appear as normal as possible. For me, normal meant following the rules of society, exercising self-control, learning, and growing. I did not believe my goals for them were harmful. I believed it was my mother-duty to raise children who fit in, because that’s what my life experiences had taught me was correct.

As time went on, my understanding shifted. I watched my children. I embraced what made them smile and rejected that which caused them pain. I read amazing books that revealed a new way to look beyond the face value of “behaviors” and “traits.” I discovered something wonderful where others saw misbehavior and dysfunction.

Finally, c. 2008, I wrote this in my journal:

Last week I had an Ah-ha! moment. I realized I need to stop trying to fix my children. I love them with all of their sometimes challenging traits — but I have, for a long time, been on a mission to minimize those quirks. For now, I need to let them be — as important for me as for them.

A short while later, I picked up a book in which the first chapter was titled “The World Needs Autism.” Reading these words was affirmation of my realization.

A later journal entry: I have long known that there is a purpose for autism. I am slowly muddling through what that purpose is. I believe that everything is evolving perfectly and the purpose is being served — even if I don’t understand it.

It took me a long time to get here. (I tell the story of my parenting journey, and those of many other mothers, in Swan Mothers.) I still get plenty of opportunity to practice. Many resources that are available today, specifically, blogs written by autistic adults, were not available when I started this journey, so I continue to uncover new layers of understanding. I still want my children to be kind, polite, intelligent, and self-sufficiency beings, but I want them to be these things while being fully themselves.

Don’t go changing, to try & please me
You never let me down…
I couldn’t love you any better
I love you just the way you are
(with apologies to Billy Joel)

stopcombatingme8This post is my contribution to the #StopCombatingMe Flashblog

What is it?

A flashblog is a day when a group of people share their thoughts about a single topic.

Why?

To tell Congress to reform the Combating Autism Act or to let it expire.  Sign the petition and learn more here: http://action.autisticadvocacy.org/p/dia/action3/common/public/?action_KEY=10412

Why Reform the Act?

My friend S.R. Salas explains that here.

 

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What I Wish I’d Been Made Aware of When My Daughter Was Diagnosed With Autism

A great list by Ariane Zurcher that describes what I wish I’d known in the early days (years). My journey to discovering these truths is in the Swan Mothers book.

Emma's Hope Book

What follows are some of the things I wish I’d been told (and given) when we learned Emma was Autistic.  These are the things, in retrospect, I wish all those doctors, specialists, pediatricians, therapists and people who dedicate their lives and careers to autism had told me, but did not.  I believe our lives would have changed dramatically had we been told even a few of these things.  It is my hope that for those of you who may be at the beginning of your journey with an Autistic child, this list might help you avoid some of the many, many mistakes we made and a great deal of unnecessary pain.

1.  Seek out the work of Autistic people ~ most of the work I’ve listed was not available when my daughter was diagnosed, but it is now.  Take advantage of all that is out there, these people are leading…

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Cell Salts for Stomach Flu

“Is it coming out of both ends?” the school nurse asked.  “That’s what is going around. Vomiting and diarrhea with a slight temperature.” Thankfully, that was not the situation in our home. Some sort of gastrointestinal bug had attached itself to one of my children, but the effect was relatively mild. Supported with cell salts, fluids and cuddles, all he wanted was to rest.

If you or yours are affected by one of the GI illnesses that are going around, cell salts are the perfect support system. Taking cell salts will ease severity of symptoms and duration of illness. Cell salts are particularly helpful for restoring mineral balance after the dehydration that accompanies these types of sicknesses.

You can buy cell salts at most health food stores.  I recommend ordering a kit of all 12 from 800homeopathy so that you will have them all on hand when you need them.

Unpleasant Symptoms

Select one to three cell salts that are correspond with your own and your child’s most significant symptoms.  If you look at the list and determine that more than three are indicated, remind yourself that that healing is a journey. More is not always better.

Give the cell salt that is currently indicated.  When symptoms change, change the prescription.

Diarrhea Symptom

Remedy

Children, in Ferrum Phos
Cramping, painful Mag Phos
Greenish, with vomiting of bile Nat Sulph
Painless Kali Phos
Pale stools Kali Mur
Sour Smelling Nat Sulph
Undigested food, with Ferr  Phos, Calc Phos
Watery, involuntary Kali Phos, Nat Mur

 

Vomiting Symptom

Cell Salt

Acid Vomit Nat Phos, Nat Sulph, Nat Mur
General Recommendation, dissolve all in water & sip Ferr Phos, Nat Mur, Kali Mur, Calc Fluor
Nausea, with Mag Phos
Regurgitation of food after eating Mag Phos
Undigested food Ferr Phos, Nat Phos, Calc Phos, Calc Fluor
Watery Nat Mur

Start by taking three pellets of each cell salt you selected three times per day. As symptoms improve, reduce dosing to two, and later one time per day.

To take cell salts, shake three tablets into the cap of the vial. Tip the cap into your mouth without touching the mouth. Allow the tablets to dissolve. Cell salts work best when taken in a clean mouth. Do not eat, drink or brush teeth 15 minutes before or after taking cell salts.

Common-Sense Measure

Rest, sleep, and cuddles are powerful forces in healing. Give your child plenty of love when they are sick.  Remember to offer lots of fluids. Water is necessary for hydration and bone broths will nourish and support the body during illness.

If symptoms are severe or last more than 24 hours, contact your doctor.

Cell Salts for Supporting Return to Health

Once the flu or gastro issue has passed, consider taking Calc Phos, Ferr Phos and Kali Mur to help your body restore vitality and optimal health.

In matters of health and healing, be fanatical about self-responsibility. Cell Salts and homeopathic remedies enable you to participate actively in your own healing.  At the same time, you should continue to see your doctor for examinations, advice and treatment. 

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