Magic for Muggles: Change the Way You See and Experience EVERYTHING

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

Sometimes, muggles get really lucky and stumble upon some magic. Magic we can actually do. Easily, consistently.

I had such an experience when I attended a Matrix Reimprinting seminar with Karl Dawson. (The photo shows me, Karl and my friend Linda Friedman Jones at the seminar.) Even though I have known about EFT for many years, even though I had finally figured out how to use if effectively, I had no idea about the amazingly transformative power of meridian tapping.

What is Matrix Reimprinting?

Matrix Reimprinting is a new meridian tapping technique developed by EFT Master Karl Dawson. Like EFT, Matrix Reimprinting often resolves long-standing emotional and physical issues.

By changing

how you perceive old events
how ingrained ideas shape your words and actions

Matrix Reimprinting can be used to create a life you love by creating better energy flow in your body

During a Matrix Reimprinting session, we tap on points that have been used in acupuncture for thousands of years. Most of the points we use are at the ends of meridians.

Meridians are channels for energy flow just as blood vessels and arteries are channels for blood flow. Emotional, chemical and physical trauma can disrupt the flow of energy in the meridians. When the energy is obstructed, disease may result.

We can correct the flow of energy by stimulating the meridian points. In EFT and Matrix Reimprinting, we do this by tapping on them.

How is Matrix Reimprinting different from EFT?

In conventional EFT, tapping on meridian end points is used to take the emotional intensity out of a past memory. When an issue is resolved with EFT, you are able to recall your most traumatic and stressful life memories without any emotional disruption or stress. This is a useful healing strategy since most disease results from stress.

When an issue is resolved using Matrix Reimprinting, the memories associated with it are actually transformed.

During the Matrix session, the practitioner will guide you as you go into a past memory.

There, you may say and do what you wished you had said and done. You will be shown how to bring in people or tools to support you in any way that you need. You will recreate the recorded picture in your memory. This will transform your reflexive reactions in situations that were triggering an unwanted response.

But these things did happen! No one can change that.

In Matrix work, we never deny that an event occurred. We do not use distraction techniques. In fact, we recognize that the best way to transform a situation is to be fully present in it. You will not relive the situation. Matrix Reimprinting is a very gentle technique – easier to demonstrate than to explain.

Experience Matrix Magic

Matrix Reimprinting is an essential part of all of my group sessions.

Physically, mentally and emotionally healthy parents, family members and caregivers create a healthy life for autistic, ADHD, and other children with special needs.

Want to know much more about Matrix Reimprinting? You can read all about it in Matrix Reimprinting Using EFT: Rewrite Your Past, Transform Your Future by Karl Dawson and Sasha Allenby.

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Tools and Words for Reducing Anxiety in Children (Part 2: Verbal First Aid)

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

In the Part 1: Changing Old Stories, I wrote about using Matrix Reimprinting to change how your child sees old events. When old traumas continue to affect our children, Matrix Reimprinting is the tool to use.

In this post, I offer suggestions for speaking gently and minimizing the effects of trauma on the scene and in the moment.

When our children get hurt, the words we say can initiate healing or exacerbate the trauma.

Consider these three possible responses when a child falls and scrapes a knee. (The examples for this article are taken from the outstanding book, Verbal First Aid by Judith Simon Prager, PhD and Judith Acosta, LISW, CHT.)

Response 1

“Oh, no! Look at you! You’re bleeding, oh, my poor, poor baby! Are you okay? Does it hurt a lot?”

Response 2

“You’re all right. Buck up, buddy. It’s not that bad.”

Response 3

“Oh, you’ve fallen and your knee is bleeding. See what a good job your blood is doing cleaning out that cut. Now you can even use your mind to stop your bleeding. We’ll wash it off and put a bandage on, and you’ll be surprised at how fast it will start to feel better.”

What are your words teaching your child?

We cannot know definitively what a particular child will learn from each of those responses since each child is different. Each already has a bank of experiences and his own temperament. Here are some possible learnings:

Response 1 teaches the child that seeing blood is cause for alarm. His body will respond by creating chemicals that impede healing.

Response 2 teaches the child that his feelings are not valid and that he should not cry or express pain.

Response 3 teaches self-confidence and initiates the healing process.

The words we say in those first moments can set the course for both physical and emotional recovery.

When children are injured, they are particulariy susceptible to influence.

What We Think = How We Feel = How We Heal

Science has demonstrated that words, thoughts, images and memories generate an instantaneous cascade of chemicals, causing a physiological reaction within us. This reaction is most pronounced when we are scared or in pain. Our breathing gets faster, our hearts race, we sweat or freeze or run.

What we think can throw us into this flight-flight-freeze response – or initiate healing. Since we cannot hold two thoughts simultaneously, presenting our children with a positive scenario can pull them out of the panic place to a place of peace.

Building Rapport: Believability and Credibility

Using words that are honest and authentic will build credibility with our children. We want our children to recognize the truth.

Saying, “Everything is fine” when neither you nor your child believe it can be damaging. Instead, state what you see and use the knowledge and wisdom you possess to uplift and support your child.

For example, if your child is seriously injured and you don’t know what to do, try this:

Take a deep breath to calm yourself. Use a gentle tone and say, “I’m right here. You can relax now. Let’s figure out what we need to do next . . .”

For extensive scripts and protocols for burns, cuts, bruises, getting stitches and much more please read the book, “Verbal First Aid.”

Verbal First Aid for Non-Verbal Children

Even if your child is non-verbal, using words in the way described in this article will be helpful. By changing how we speak, we shift our feelings. Children will respond to our tone and energy and gain confidence.

Super-Easy Homeopathic First Aid

Like Verbal First Aid, homeopathic remedies support the body in healing itself emotionally and physically. I always carry the remedies described in this article. Having homeopathic remedies with me has saved the day for my family many times. If you don’t want to buy them all, buy arnica and prepare to be amazed at the rate of healing.

Reference

Highly recommended!

Verbal First Aid: Help Your Kids Heal from Fear and Pain–and Come Out Strong

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Tools and Words for Reducing Anxiety in Children (Part 1: Changing Old Stories)

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

Many mothers have noted that their children are anxious. They eat too much or too little, have trouble falling asleep or wake during the night, cry easily and melt-down.

As parents, we want to help our children to feel better. We can teach them how to get to a calmer, more relaxed place on their own.

If you have observed that your child is very anxious, consider these questions:

1. When did this anxiety start?

2. What makes it better or worse?

3. What words does my child at these times?

4. How does she act when stressed or anxious?

If the Anxiety has an Obvious Cause or Starting Point, Use Matrix Reimprinting

Matrix Reimprinting (MR) is a method that engages imagination and problem-solving abilities in a way that changes perception of old events. Changing perception changes our experience of everything.

Was your child embarrassed by some incident at school? Was he in an accident? Did she see something that scared her?

All of us are shaped by our experiences. Believe it or not, we can change events so that our children are left with a positive (or neutral) experience of them.

How to Facilitate a Matrix Reimprinting Session for Your Child

1. Ensure that you are calm and centered.

Take a few deep breaths. If you have strong feelings about the experience you wish to address with your child, do your own work before working with your child.

2. Choose a peaceful, relaxed time to be with your child.

I like to tap with my children at bedtime. Reading a book or a foot massage may facilitate a transition to quiet time.

3. Introduce what you are doing in a way that is appropriate for your child.

“I have learned a magical way to make you feel better. Would you like to try it?”

If your child says no, respect his or her choice. The goal is to empower our children – not to force them to do something against their wills. We can always try again at a later time if our children seem receptive or interested.

Choose one of these methods for tapping or present your child with these choices:

Tap gently on your child while he tells the story of what happened. (Click on the Super-Easy Tapping Guide to learn the tapping points.)
Instead of tapping, touch and hold the tapping points gently while he talks.
Model for your child by tapping on yourself. Encourage her to tap on herself if she is receptive.
Use a doll or stuffed bear to demonstrate the tapping. Encourage your child to tap on the bear while she tells her story. You can ask, “How did bear feel when his friend pushed him?” Let your child use her own words as she taps.

4. Telling the Story

Begin tapping on your child and continue to tap throughout the process.

Encourage your child to close his eyes and see a picture of the incident that you suspect initiated his anxiety. (There may be many contributing incidents. Use whichever story the child chooses to tell. You can work with other incidents at a later date.)

As he describes the scene, tell him to step into the picture and describe what he sees. What is going on with his younger self that we all the ECHO? Is the ECHO scared? Angry? Confused?

He can then approach his ECHO, introduce himself, and offer to help him by tapping on him.

Using his imagination, your child will tap on the ECHO using simple phrases (see earlier posts) that reflect what the ECHO is feeling. For example: “Even though you’re very scared because you fell and are bleeding, you’re going to be o.k.” or “Even though it hurts, your body knows how to heal itself and you can call for help.”

In the Matrix, your child has magical powers and can bring in any resource his ECHO needs to feel better. His ECHO gets to choose. Perhaps a trusted relative, a doctor, a teacher, or an angel will come to reassure the ECHO that all is well. Sometimes, the ECHO wants an object to help him – a magic cape to protect him, a toy for comfort, a weapon to defend himself.

Encourage him to provide his ECHO with all he needs to feel better. Continue to tap on your child as he taps on or talks to his ECHO.

When the ECHO has no further requests and is satisfied that all is well, the ECHO may choose to do anything he wishes. Often, young ECHOs will want to go play.

At this point, ask your child to observe the new, happy scene. Ask him to imagine this new picture coming in through the top of his head and filling up his body. Let him send this new picture out into the Universe.

Then, have him open his eyes. Stop tapping.

Encourage your child to notice if he feels different. Remind him that he can always tap on himself or his ECHOs to feel better.

If you would like to experience a guided EFT/meridian taping session, please contact me.

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How to Discover the Wisdom of the World

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

I’ve learned from reading parenting books. I learn by reading blogs of autistic individuals. I learn by living life. But my favorite way of expanding my awareness is by reading fiction.

In recent months, I have experienced unexplained trepidation. I seem to have lost understanding of what I once understood. I have more questions than answers. I’ve pursued common-sense solutions (eating better, moving more, spending time outdoors), but remain stuck. And so, I reach deep into the fictional story of Paulo Coelho’s Brida, hoping that I will learn from her journey as I seek to unravel some mysteries of my experience.

Discovering the Answers to Your Questions

Each of us must discover the answers to her own questions in her own way. Brida learns that there are four paths to discovering the wisdom of the world, four Rings of Revelation that a woman can use. (pp. 62 – 63)

The Ring of the Virgin

The Virgin needs no one. She does not wear herself out by loving others. Through Solitude, she discovers the wisdom of the world.

The Ring of the Saint

The Saint has the courage of those for whom giving is the only way of receiving. The Saint offers everything for others. Through Surrender, the Saint discovers the wisdom of the world.

The Ring of the Martyr

The Martyr has the power of those who cannot be harmed by pain and suffering. She surrenders herself, suffers, and through Sacrifice, discovers the wisdom of the world.

The Ring of the Witch

The Witch discovers the wisdom of the world through Pleasure.

Which ring will you choose?

Do you recognize your own path in one of the above descriptions? All paths are worthy, but if we can choose to learn through solitude or sacrifice or suffering or pleasure, which would you prefer?

Brida’s wisdom teachers tell her that “In her life, every woman can make use of the Four Rings of Revelation.” In my life, I’ve worn each of the rings. I believe that to every thing there is a season. Yet when I consider how I want to experience life, I realize that I yearn to wear the Ring of the Witch. I want to grow through joy.

Pleasure for Parents

Magic is a bridge, a bridge that allows you to walk from the visible world over into the invisible world, and to learn the lessons of both those worlds.(p. 10)

I suspect that all of the readers of this blog practice a bit of the above kind of magic daily. We find bridges that connect us to our children. We build bridges that allow our children to step safely into this world. We understand that it is all one world – and that our children experience the world in a way that most of us do not yet understand.

the age of miracles is returning, and no one can remain indifferent to the changes the world is beginning to experience…Anyone not already following their own path will begin to feel dissatisfied with themselves and be forced to make a choice: they will either have to accept an existence beset with disappointment and pain or else come to realize that everyone was born to be happy.” (p. 199)

Here are a few more quotes to propel you in shifting your beliefs:

page 203:

“Never be ashamed. Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.

How will I know which is which?

By the taste. You can only know a good wine if you have first tasted a bad one.”

page 11

“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.”

page 26

“You must get used to the fact that there are many things in magic which are not and never will be explained. God decided to do certain things in a certain way and why He did this is a secret known only to Him.”

page 42

“But the path of magic – like the path of life – is and always will be the path of Mystery. Learning something means coming into contact with a world of which you know nothing.”

page 74

“It isn’t explanations that carry us forward, it’s our desire to go on.”

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Tapping into Stress Relief

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

I am sometimes asked how I stay so calm with my children. The truth is, I’m not always calm, but I have come a long way. One of the tools that helped me get here is meridian tapping.

Since I learned about EFT (a type of meridian tapping) in 2010, it has gone mainstream, and with good reason. By tapping on a few specific points on your body, you can dramatically reduce your stress level, often in just a few minutes.

Meridian Tapping is a technique that combines talking about a problem and tapping on meridian points to bring about different, more comfortable feelings about it.

A Bit More Information

Meridian Tapping Techniques are an emotional, needle-free version of acupuncture, Tapping on certain meridian points with the fingertips shifts energy and can help us to regain our equilibrium. Since emotional stress can contribute to discomfort, EFT often provides astonishing relief.

Click here to learn how to tap with my Super-Easy Tapping Guide.

Why do we need to deal with emotions?

E-motions are energy in motion. Energy is the invisible foundation for health in the body. The body is composed of energy pathways and energy centers that are in a dynamic interplay with the cells, organs, moods, and thoughts.

When we shift these energies using homeopathic remedies or meridian stimulation techniques, we influence our health, emotions, and state of mind.

Tap for Stress-Reduction

Think of something that troubles you.
- Where do you feel it?
- On a scale from 1 to 10, how intense is this feeling?
Now, focusing on this feeling, begin tapping on your karate chop point with your other hand. Say, “Even though I have (this feeling), I am a really good person.”
- Do this three times then tap on each of the points shown in the illustration while naming the feeling.
- Here’s a video and tapping chart to learn where to tap.
How do you feel now?
- How intense is that feeling on a scale of 1 to 10?
- Did you think of anything while tapping?
  - If yes, you can tap on this new feeling or memory.

When to Use EFT

Whenever you feel

stressed,
frustrated,
sad,
angry.

What to Say While Tapping

Begin tapping on the Karate Chop point while saying the following set-up phrases.

Even though I am so frustrated, I want to love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I am so stressed, I want to accept and forgive myself.
Even though this is really crazy, I love myself and am willing to try this way to calm myself.

TH:	I just want to have one ordinary normal day.
EB:	Even a nice, normal hour.
OE:	My whole body is tense.
UE:	The stress is really getting to me.
UN:	I eat too much (or not enough).
CH:	I don’t have any time for myself.
CB:	I have to manage every minute of every day.
UA:	I feel so alone.
UN:	I feel scared.

Thumb:	Sad.
IF:	Overwhelmed.
MF:	Angry.
RF:	Sad.
LF:	Angry.

ET I have this difficult life, I am willing to consider the possibility that it can be easier.
ET I feel angry and frustrated, I am open to the idea that I can find peace in my days.
ET I feel like I can’t take it anymore, I am a good mother.

TH:	My life is very challenging.
EB:	I am handling it well.
OE:	I make lots of mistakes.
UE:	I also do a lot of things right.
UN:	The stress of having this child is difficult sometimes.
CH:	There are also times of great joy.
CB:	Sometimes I want to go hide or run away.
UA:	Sometimes I am grateful for the privilege of being with this amazing kid.
UN:	I’m doing a good job.

Thumb:	Nobody understands.
IF:	I’m sad.
MF:	Angry.
RF:	Frustrated.
LF:	I am doing my best.

ET I have a challenging life, I choose to embrace it with grace.
ET I get so stressed sometimes, I choose to find a way to find peace and relief.
ET I sometimes wish it was different for me, I choose to love the life and the child I have.

TH:	I choose to be strong.
EB:	I choose to forgive myself as often as necessary.
OE:	I choose to forgive my spouse when he/she does not do enough.
UE:	I choose to forgive my child(ren) for annoying me.
UN:	I choose to be easy on myself.
CH:	I choose to find time for myself every day.
CB:	I choose to have joy in my life.
UA:	I choose to have peace in my life.
UN:	I am o.k.

Thumb:	I choose to love myself.
IF:	I choose to be easy on myself.
MF:	I am o.k.
RF:	I am o.k.
LF:	I am o.k.

If, as you are tapping along with the script, you think of another issue or feeling, tap on it. If you feel a sensation in your body, tap on it.

For example, if you begin to feel a tightness in your throat while tapping, go back to the Karate Chop Point and use a set-up phrase like, “Even though I have this intense tightness in my throat, I want to love myself anyway.”

As you tap through the points, use a simple reminder phrase such as, “This tightness in my throat.” If the sensation changes again, change your words while continuing to tap through the points. For example, “This choking feeling in my throat.”

The tapping scripts are provided to give you an idea of how to start and to get the feel of using EFT. It is always more important to use your own words than mine. Trust yourself. Notice what comes up. Tap on it without judging yourself or the feeling.

When I first read about EFT, I was intrigued. Yet when I tried it for myself, I was not impressed. Nothing seemed to happen. I hope that your experience is different. I will not go into all of the reasons that it did not work for me. However, since I am now an EFT practitioner and proponent and use EFT for myself constantly, I want you to know that what made a difference for me was having a session with an EFT practitioner. About 45 minutes into my first session, I experienced a huge emotional release and understood the value of this technique.

If you would like to experience a guided EFT/meridian taping session, please contact me. Free tapping circles for mothers coming soon.

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Nature’s 12 Magic Healers (Cell Salts 101)

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

Cell Salts, also called Biochemic Tissue Salts, are a great way to dip your toe into natural medicine. You don’t have to believe anything or do anything beyond putting a few pellets in your mouth to begin feeling better.

Cell salts are homeopathic preparations of the minerals that are the building blocks of our bodies. They taste sweet and dissolve almost instantly in the mouth or in water. Children love to take them. My family uses cell salts to calm down, ease flu symptoms, and, once, to speed the healing of broken bones.

Because cell salts are diluted and potentized, only minute biochemic amounts of the mineral salts are up-taken by cells and tissues. This enables better absorption of nutrients and fortifies and energizes living tissue. Cell salts support proper cell function to optimize health and ameliorate physical and emotional symptoms. The effectiveness of cell salts has been proven for over two hundred years.[1]^,[2]

Where are the nutrients?

After millennia of destructive farming practices, soils are denatured. Our foods do not have the nutrients necessary for optimal health. We tend to be overfed but undernourished.

For many of today’s children, the situation is complicated by self-limiting food intake and digestive disturbances. As a consequence, some children are severely affected by mineral deficiencies.[3] Deficiencies may manifest as anxiety, mood swings, digestive problems, and other signs of imbalance.

Cell Salts are Essential

Minerals are the foundation for enzyme activity in the body. They serve as catalysts in energy cycles and functions. They nourish cells to provide the foundation of a healthy body.

Cell Salts facilitate the basic functioning of cells including water balance, digestion, removing toxins, elasticity of the cells, oxygenation, nutrition, and sodium-potassium balance.

Emotional and Physical Symptoms of Cell Salt Deficiencies

An individual may be deficient in any of the cell salts. Deficiencies may be noted by signs and symptoms of the individual. The table below is a starting point for exploring uses for cell salts.

How to Use Cell Salts

Review the chart and notice if you have any symptoms of deficiency.

Cell Salt	Emotional Symptoms of Deficiency	Physical Symptoms of Deficiency
Calc Fluor	Indecisiveness, low self-esteem	Chapped skin, deficient tooth enamel
Calc Phos	Mental weakness, lack of motivation	Nosebleeds, late teeth, headaches in children
Calc Sulph	Fatigue, laziness, worries about imaginary problems	Yellow discharges, boils, open infections
Ferrum Phos	Stimulation and overheating followed by dullness and listlessness	First stages of fever (99-101), sore throat, nosebleeds, colds, flu
Kali Mur	Irritability, apathy, homesickness, hypochondria	Second stage of fever (101-103), coughing, white mucus discharges
Kali Phos	Nervous tension, extreme nervousness, moodiness, anger, self-pity	Nerve and sleep problems, bad breath
Kali Sulph	Scary dreams, sensitivity to noises, irritability, anger	Thick yellow discharges, changing symptoms
Mag Phos	Sensitivity, impulsiveness	Cramping and shooting pains, spasms, hiccoughs
Nat Mur	Isolation, control issues, deep grief	Head cold and congestion, watery discharges, sun sensitivity, cold sores
Nat Phos	Depression, sleeplessness, low self-esteem	Acne, blackheads, greasy or brittle hair
Nat Sulph	Depression from wet weather or head injuries	Swollen feet or hands, foul-smelling gas
Silicea	Shyness, lack of “grit,” hypersensitivity, sensitivity to cold	Light sensitivity, sweaty hands and feet

Select one to three cell salts that correspond with your own or your child’s most significant symptoms. If you look at the list and determine that more than three are indicated, remind yourself that that restoring balance is a journey. More is not always better.
Start by taking three pellets of each cell salt you selected three times per day. As symptoms improve, reduce dosing to two, and later one time per day.
After about a month, look at the charts again. Re-evaluate your needs and adjust your cell salt selection.

To take cell salts, shake three tablets into the cap of the vial. Tip the cap into your mouth without touching the mouth. Allow the tablets to dissolve.

Cell salts work best when taken in a clean mouth. Do not eat, drink or brush teeth fifteen minutes before or after taking cell salts.

Taking cell salts is a great way to begin exploring the natural health sciences. Combinations of cell salts or other homeopathic or supportive remedies may be needed to fully resolvesymptoms. Contact a professional for optimal results through individualized, comprehensive treatment.

Cell salts may be purchased at most health food stores or from 800homeopathy.com. (Request the catalogue from 800homeopathy. It is full of useful information.)

[1] Boericke & Dewey: The Twelve Tissue Remedies of Shussler Comprising of The Theory, Therapeutic Application, Materia Medica & a Complete Repertory of Tissue Remedies (Homeopathicallly and Bio-Chemically Considered). 6^th Ed. B. Jain Publishers PVT. LTD. New Delhi, 2006.

[2] David R. Card: Facial Diagnosis of Cell Salt Deficiencies: A User’s Guide. Hohm Press. Prescott, Arizona, 2005.

[3] E. Cornish (1998) “A Balanced Approach Towards Healthy Eating in Autism.” Journal of Human Nutrition and Dietetics, 11: 501-509.

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Doing My Own Work

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

As I walked beside the lake one morning, a bunch of deer flies swarmed around me head. At first, I swatted them away with reasonably good humor. When they would not leave, I found myself increasingly agitated. “It’s just a sound,” I reasoned with myself. “Why is it annoying you so much?” Yet annoy me it did. Each buzz in my ear, every dart toward my head, pushed me closer to the edge.

There have been times when the sounds of my children have had a similar affect on me. Their normal, child behavior rapidly changed me from a reasonable, sane woman to a crazy, raving one.

At my worst, I yelled at a newborn to stop crying, slapped a toddler who whined persistently, and snapped at young children for playing loudly. It is humbling to look back.

These days, my parenting is much gentler. You might think that this is because the children are older and it’s just easier. But that is only a small part of the reason.

Mostly, it is because I have done a lot of work on myself. After years of trying to make my children the way I thought they should be, I realized that they are just fine the way they are. Even I am fine the way I am. I simply need to make a few changes.

This, says Carl Rogers, is the curious paradox: When I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.

Doing Our Own Work

As parents, we take our children’s behavior and appearance — their very being — personally. When our children won’t eat the food we prepared or wear the clothes we’ve laid out, when they scream and kick in public and encounter difficulties in school, we assume that we should fix the situation. We assume that we should fix our children.

In fact, our children do not need to be fixed. They need to be seen, heard, understood, and loved.

But how do we see, listen, and console when we want to scream and shout? One step at a time and not in the moment of our deepest despair, we change ourselves.

Learn new words to say. I recommend reading How to Talk So Your Children Will Listen and Listen So Your Children Will Talk, over and over if necessary. I read it many times. This book is easy to read and offers many scripts for speaking to our children.

Step into your child’s shoes. Take a minute to see the situation from your child’s point of view. While you see a child who is not cooperating, what is your child’s experience? Is she hungry or tired? Do the seams on the socks bother him to an extent you cannot imagine? Has the “nice” teacher spoken to her harshly and now she is afraid?

Look for the positive. Mary Sheedy Kurchinka, in her book Raising Your Spirited Child,makes many suggestions for seeing challenging traits as assets. Is your child stubborn, or persistent? Oversensitive, or perceptive? Bossy, or knows exactly what he wants?

Reconsider your foundational beliefs about yourself. We all have limiting core beliefs. They come from our early experiences, mostly those before age seven. These limiting beliefs drive our thoughts and behaviors. Fortunately, they can be changed effectively and, sometimes, quickly and easily, with techniques such as Matrix Reimprinting and EFT and other energy medicine modalities.

Tap. EFT is very easy to learn and very effective for reducing stress in the moment. Use EFT to honor yourself and your journey. Click here to see the tapping points and demonstration. Then, try tapping these phrases:

Even though this has been really exhausting, I’m a good mother and I’m doing enough.
Even though I haven’t done everything perfectly, I can love myself anyway.

I continue to work with practitioners regularly. For me, the support and guidance of a professional is essential in making major shifts. Any work that I do on myself translates to treating my children better, and that’s a very good thing.

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6 Tips for Surviving the Darkest Days

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

There are times in the parents’ journey when we do not see the light. We forget that there is light. We feel abandoned by everyone, utterly alone.

At times like these, it is appropriate to feel our pain, to swim in our despair. It is healthy to allow all of our feelings to flow through us. It is not necessary (and often, it is not possible) for us to cheer up and put on a happy face.

The thing to remember is that we want the sadness to keep moving. We want to allow our sadness to be. We do not want to drown in it.

Six Ways to Support Yourself During the Darkest Days

1. Honor your sadness.

Find a way to take some time for your sadness and yourself.

Light a candle.
Sit quietly.
Close your eyes.
Ask your sadness: Do you have a name? What do you want me to know?
Listen. (If it feels strange to do this, try it anyway. I have often been surprised by the insights that came when I asked myself such questions. If you hear and feel nothing, let that be okay.)

2. Support your body with nourishing foods.

Your body needs to be nourished with healthy foods to remain strong. Let this be easy.

Brew a cup of nourishing, relaxing tea such as oat straw or chamomile.
Mash an avocado with a pinch of salt and a squeeze of lime.
Order a smoothie or a cup of soup.
As you eat or drink, feel every cell and every organ in your body being fed and sustained.

3. Accept help from Flower Essences.

In the early 20^th century, Edward Bach discovered that each of our negative emotional states could be brought into balance with a flower essence. Bach Flower Essences may be purchased at most health food stores.

For general emotional support during difficult times, try the combination of four flower essences called Rescue Remedy. Put four drops of the essence in a glass of water and sip throughout the day.
Other flower essences may be indicated. If you feel drawn to healing with flower essences, I recommend contacting Amy Hendrickson for a consultation.

4. Tap, tap, tap your blues away.

At least 2000 years ago, the Chinese discovered that energy can be moved by stimulating specific points on the body. From this, they developed the practice of acupuncture. You can stimulate acupuncture points on your body, simply by tapping on them. If you do this while thinking about your sadness, the sadness will begin to shift (not necessarily disappear), as if by magic. The basics of tapping for stress relief.

5. Locate the sadness and breathe it away.

Instead of thinking about why you feel this sadness, ask yourself where you feel this sadness.

Breathe in deeply through your nose.
Feel your breath go to the place where you feel the sadness.
Breathe out through your mouth.
Repeat until the sadness moves to a new spot.
Then, feel your breath go to this new place.
Notice colors, images, sounds, and feelings associated with the sad spots. No need to do anything with them, simply notice.
Continue as long as it feels good.

6. Read these words of hope.

The following are the lyrics to a song called “Inscription of Hope.” It is based on a poem found on the wall of a basement where Jews were hiding from Hitler. Perhaps reading these words will feed your soul. You can listen to children singing The Inscription of Hope here.

Inscription of Hope

I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
and I believe in love
even when there’s no one there

and I believe in God
even when he is silent
I believe through any trial
there is always a way

but sometimes in this suffering
and hopeless despair
my heart cries for shelter
to know someone’s there

but a voice rises within me
saying “hold on, my child
I’ll give you strength, I’ll give you hope
just stay a little while”

I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
and I believe in love
even when there’s no one there

and I believe in God
even when he is silent
I believe through any trial
there is always a way

May there someday be sunshine
may there someday be happiness
may there someday be love
may there someday be peace

Tips for Helping Yourself

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How to Create an Instant Connection with Your Child

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

While some autistic, neurodivergent, and sensitive children are averse to touch, many enjoy physical contact.

Loving touch is a powerful way to connect with our children. It is an opportunity to be present, to really see and feel our children, and to heal.

The light touch associated with social interaction is usually what over-stimulates autistic children, causing a negative reaction. The firmer touch of massage is often pleasant and calming.

Studies at the Touch Research Institute have shown that touch therapy has many positive effects.[1]

Enhanced attentiveness and performance,
Alleviation of depressive symptoms,
Reduced pain,
Reduced stress hormones, and
Improved immune function.

When professional massage is not an option, we can incorporate basic massage techniques and loving touch into our daily routines at home and look for similar benefits.

Super-Basic Foot Massage

As our children are preparing for sleep and relaxing in bed, we can offer to rub their feet.

Place a small amount of almond or olive oil in your hands and rub them together.
Hold one foot firmly and begin stroking the foot from ankle to toes in long, smooth strokes.
Adjust the pressure of your touch to keep your child comfortable.
Use your thumbs to massage the sole of the foot.
Support the foot with one hand and gently wiggle and pull each toe.
Stroke the whole foot again, then do the same with the other foot.

As we massage our child’s feet, it is helpful to breathe deeply and slowly, to smile. In doing so, the becomes a time to be together in a peaceful, loving way.

[1] http://www6.miami.edu/touch-research/research.htm

Tips for Helping Yourself

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One Cool Thing Schedule

by Natalia Iwanyckyj

What’s a mother to do when she wants to surrender to summer, to sleep in or read a book, to relax for once, and her children need her?

What’s a mother to do when she wants space, and her children want to cuddle and chat and play with her?

What’s a mother to do when she thirsts for peace and time alone, while her children seek interaction?

I once scheduled every minute of every day, but that method exhausted me. Letting my children do whatever they want all day left them so untethered, that everyone deteriorated into tears (me) or tantrums (them). I found a compromise. A simple, three-step plan.

Plan One Interesting Thing
Do It
Relax

When my kids were of an age that they needed planned activities, I would schedule one thing to do per day. We would eat a good breakfast, then head out to do something interesting. Our things to do were not generally expensive, far away, or complicated. We might go to a park with great play structures, walk a nature trail, go to the zoo, or visit a museum. I usually ended our outings with a high-protein snack. When we got home, everyone had been sufficiently exercised, fed, and stimulated to happily do their own thing for a while.

Ideas for the One Cool Thing

10 Activities For Practicing Life Skills This Summer

82 Summer Activities for Families with Special Needs

14 Tools For Science Exploration In The Summer

Tips for Helping Yourself

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Discovering Ourselves through Parenting

What is Matrix Reimprinting?

By changing

how you perceive old events

how ingrained ideas shape your words and actions

Matrix Reimprinting can be used to create a life you love by creating better energy flow in your body

How is Matrix Reimprinting different from EFT?

During the Matrix session, the practitioner will guide you as you go into a past memory.

But these things did happen! No one can change that.

Experience Matrix Magic

Matrix Reimprinting is an essential part of all of my group sessions.

When our children get hurt, the words we say can initiate healing or exacerbate the trauma.

Response 1

Response 2

Response 3

What are your words teaching your child?

Response 1 teaches the child that seeing blood is cause for alarm. His body will respond by creating chemicals that impede healing.

Response 2 teaches the child that his feelings are not valid and that he should not cry or express pain.

Response 3 teaches self-confidence and initiates the healing process.

The words we say in those first moments can set the course for both physical and emotional recovery.

What We Think = How We Feel = How We Heal

Building Rapport: Believability and Credibility

Verbal First Aid for Non-Verbal Children

Reference

If the Anxiety has an Obvious Cause or Starting Point, Use Matrix Reimprinting

How to Facilitate a Matrix Reimprinting Session for Your Child

1. Ensure that you are calm and centered.

2. Choose a peaceful, relaxed time to be with your child.

3. Introduce what you are doing in a way that is appropriate for your child.

4. Telling the Story

Discovering the Answers to Your Questions

The Ring of the Virgin

The Ring of the Saint

The Ring of the Martyr

The Ring of the Witch

Which ring will you choose?

Pleasure for Parents

A Bit More Information

Why do we need to deal with emotions?

Tap for Stress-Reduction

When to Use EFT

What to Say While Tapping

Where are the nutrients?

Cell Salts are Essential

Emotional and Physical Symptoms of Cell Salt Deficiencies

How to Use Cell Salts

Six Ways to Support Yourself During the Darkest Days

1. Honor your sadness.

2. Support your body with nourishing foods.

3. Accept help from Flower Essences.

4. Tap, tap, tap your blues away.

5. Locate the sadness and breathe it away.

6. Read these words of hope.

Inscription of Hope

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