Swan Mothers

Discovering Ourselves through Parenting

Tools and Words for Reducing Anxiety in Children (Part 2: Verbal First Aid)

In the Part 1:  Changing Old Stories, I wrote about using Matrix Reimprinting to change how your child sees old events.   When old traumas continue to affect our children, Matrix Reimprinting is the tool to use.

In this post, I offer suggestions for speaking gently and minimizing the effects of trauma on the scene and in the moment.

When our children get hurt, the words we say can initiate healing or exacerbate the trauma.

Consider these three possible responses when a child falls and scrapes a knee.  (The examples for this article are taken from the outstanding book, Verbal First Aid by Judith Simon Prager, PhD and Judith Acosta, LISW, CHT.)

Response 1

“Oh, no! Look at you! You’re bleeding, oh, my poor, poor baby! Are you okay? Does it hurt a lot?”

Response 2

“You’re all right. Buck up, buddy. It’s not that bad.”

Response 3

“Oh, you’ve fallen and your knee is bleeding.  See what a good job your blood is doing cleaning out that cut.  Now you can even use your mind to stop your bleeding.  We’ll wash it off and put a bandage on, and you’ll be surprised at how fast it will start to feel better.”

What are your words teaching your child?

We cannot know definitively what a particular child will learn from each of those responses since each child is different.  Each already has a bank of experiences and his own temperament.    Here are some possible learnings:

  • Response 1 teaches the child that seeing blood is cause for alarm. His body will respond by creating chemicals that impede healing.

  • Response 2 teaches the child that his feelings are not valid and that he should not cry or express pain.

  • Response 3 teaches self-confidence and initiates the healing process.

The words we say in those first moments can set the course for both physical and emotional recovery.

When children are injured, they are particulariy susceptible to influence.

What We Think = How We Feel = How We Heal

Science has demonstrated that words, thoughts, images and memories generate an instantaneous cascade of chemicals, causing a physiological reaction within us.  This reaction is most pronounced when we are scared or in pain.  Our breathing gets faster, our hearts race, we sweat or freeze or run.

What we think can throw us into this flight-flight-freeze response – or initiate healing.  Since we cannot hold two thoughts simultaneously, presenting our children with a positive scenario can pull them out of the panic place to a place of peace.

Building Rapport:  Believability and Credibility

Using words that are honest and authentic will build credibility with our children.  We want our children to recognize the truth.

Saying, “Everything is fine” when neither you nor your child believe it can be damaging.  Instead, state what you see and use the knowledge and wisdom you possess to uplift and support your child.

For example, if your child is seriously injured and you don’t know what to do, try this:

Take a deep breath to calm yourself.  Use a gentle tone and say, “I’m right here.  You can relax now.  Let’s figure out what we need to do next . . .”

For extensive scripts and protocols for burns, cuts, bruises, getting stitches and much more please read the book, “Verbal First Aid.”

Verbal First Aid for Non-Verbal Children

Even if your child is non-verbal, using words in the way described in this article will be helpful.  By changing how we speak, we shift our feelings.  Children will respond to our tone and energy and gain confidence.

Super-Easy Homeopathic First Aid

Like Verbal First Aid, homeopathic remedies support the body in healing itself emotionally and physically.  I always carry the remedies described in this article.  Having homeopathic remedies with me has saved the day for my family many times.  If you don’t want to buy them all, buy arnica and prepare to be amazed at the rate of healing.


Highly recommended!

Verbal First Aid: Help Your Kids Heal from Fear and Pain–and Come Out Strong

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Super-Easy Homeopathic First Aid


My journey from shock and overwhelm (after hearing “We think she’s autistic.”) to acceptance and joy has been supported by energy-shifting tools such as homeopathy, meridian tapping, Matrix Reimprinting, and reading. This post is a a very basic introduction to homeopathy, 

Disease and disorder in the body is caused by the culmination of insults and injuries.  Today’s children tend to have bodies that are particularly sensitive.  They may experience unusually strong effects from traumas which, if left unattended, lead to disturbances and disease.  These traumas and insults include:

Common Injuries

  1. bumps and bruises
  2. burns
  3. cuts
  4. stings and bites

Emotional Stressors

  1. shock
  2. humiliation
  3. grief

Other Traumas

  1. chemical exposure
  2. vaccinations
  3. birth trauma
  4. accidents

With appropriate and prompt treatment, traumas can be healed before they imprint on the living matrix of our bodies. Thus, crystallization of the trauma in tissues and organs will not become an additional health problem to be dealt with later.

This article discusses homeopathic first aid for common injuries.

*Homeopathic remedies are effective and often produce amazing results.  However, they do not replace professional medical care.  In matters of health and healing, be fanatical about self-responsibility. Seek medical attention immediately for all serious or potentially serious injuries.

How to Make It All Better When Your Child is Hurting

Homeopathy is a system of medicine used throughout the world.  (Here’s a new link to a slightly more technical, but still easy to understand, Primer on Homeopathy.)  Very dilute substances are used to treat disease symptoms in accordance with homeopathic principles.  Homeopathic remedies are manufactured in accordance with FDA regulation and are safe and effective.

Homeopathic first aid produces amazing, often instantaneous results.  (See examples from my family’s experiences at the end of this post.)  By administering homeopathic first aid remedies when needed, parents can offer rapid relief to injured children and minimize or eliminate long-term effects of trauma.

Remedies come in the form of small lactose pellets.  They taste sweet and most children are happy to take them.

Homeopathic remedies are

  • ultra-safe
  • ultra-effective
  • used by millions of smart mothers throughout Europe, India, the United States, and the world

Here’s a picture of my tiny, take-everywhere homeopathy kit. All the remedies I carry fit on a business card.

Using Homeopathic First Aid Remedies

Getting Started Guide

Where do I buy homeopathic remedies?

Homeopathic remedies may be purchased at most health food stores or through websites such as 1-800homeopathy.  At the website, enter the remedy name in the search box and select the 200c potency.  Note:  200c potency remedies are excellent in first aid situations.  They are not suitable for frequent use.

What is the number after the remedy name?

The number after the remedy name is the potency.  The higher the number, the more dilute and potent the remedy.

How do I use homeopathic remedies?

Open the remedy vial.  Shake 3-4 pellets into the cap from the vial.  Tip the pellets into the mouth without touching the cap to the mouth.  Allow the pellets to dissolve in the mouth.  Giving the remedy very soon after the injury or onset of illness leads to rapid healing.

Improvement of symptoms should be evident within 10 minutes.  If no results, repeat the remedy.  If the remedy helps for a while then the pain or condition returns, give another dose of the remedy.  If there is no relief after three doses, try a different remedy if it is indicated.  If the injury is serious and not responding to remedies, seek medical attention.

Which remedies should I buy?

The remedies below are those that I almost always have with me.  I carry them in a small pouch in my purse or pocket and have had many occasions to use them.  A few success stories follow the list.

Remedy Indication
  • Shock
  • First signs of illness or flu (for this purpose, a 200c potency is needed)
  • Head Injuries (Head injuries are a very serious condition.  Seek medical help immediately. If your child suffers a blow to the head, even if he or she feels fine immediately afterward, stay alert for signs of discomfort and consider being evaluated by a physician if they feel anything out of the ordinary.  Even a mild headache that comes on after experiencing blunt force to the head should be evaluated by a doctor.)
  • Cuts and Scrapes
  • Bumps and Bruises
  • Bites and Stings, including bees and jellyfish
Arsenicum Album
  • Vomiting and Diarrhea from Food Poisoning
  • Sunburn
  • Sunstroke (This is a very serious condition.  Give remedies on the way to the emergency room.)
  • Injuries to Fingers, Toes and Nerve-Ending Rich Areas
  • Puncture Wounds

Real Stories:  Homeopathy Saves the Day

  1. My daughter, then 2, was jumping on the bed.  I was right there watching her and we were having great fun when she somehow slipped from the bed and hit her head on the edge of a dresser.  Immediately, a swelling the size of an egg appeared at the back of her head.  She was screaming.  I was terrified.  I was certain that I would need to go to the emergency room.  I was very new to homeopathy when this happened but I did suddenly remember arnica for bumps and bruises.  I gave her a dose of arnica.  She started to calm down and the swelling began to shrink before my eyes.  I did not entirely believe my eyes so I kept feeling the bump which did seem to be getting smaller.  15 minutes later, I gave her another dose of arnica.  By this time, she was fine and wanted to keep playing.  I was still panicking.  I called my homeopath and told him what had happened and what I was doing.  He calmly listed the signs of concussion and instructed me to watch for those and to proceed to ER if these should appear.  He told me to keep giving arnica every 30 minutes for two more doses then every hour for 2 doses and to call him if I had more concerns.  Within an hour of giving the first dose of arnica, the swelling was almost gone.  When I really felt for it, I could detect it, but my daughter was acting normally and seemed entirely unaffected by the incident or its dramatic aftermath.
  2. We were on family vacation and walking on the beach in the evening.  My husband injured his toe.  He was in great pain and said it had bent all the way back.  I pulled out my pocket homeopathy kit and gave him a dose of arnica.  Five minutes later, he was still sitting down and holding his very sore foot.  He thought that the toe was broken and that we should go to an urgent care facility.  The arnica wasn’t helping!  We were in a strange city with two small children.  By this time, I’d seen a number of arnica miracles and could not believe that he didn’t get instant relief.  Then I remembered that the remedy for injured fingers and toes is hypericum.  I gave him one dose and within a few minutes he was flexing his toes.  I gave him another dose five minutes later.  At this point, the toes felt only slightly sore and we resumed our walk.
  3. My children were playing outside on a beautiful summer day.  Suddenly, my son started screaming and grasping his eye.  No one seemed to know what had happened and we couldn’t tell what he was saying between screams.  I gave him a dose of aconite for shock.  He calmed down slightly but continued to scream.  Now, we could tell what he was saying:  “Bee bited my eye.”  I quickly gave him a dose of apis, the remedy for bites and stings.  He stopped screaming and moved his hand.  I could see the rosy red swelling around his eye (another sign that apis is needed).  The redness and swelling started to diminish and he went back to playing.  Another day saved.
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