Swan Mothers

Discovering Ourselves through Parenting

You searched for darkest days


6 Tips for Surviving the Darkest Days

There are times in the parents’ journey when we do not see the light. We forget that there is light. We feel abandoned by everyone, utterly alone.

At times like these, it is appropriate to feel our pain, to swim in our despair. It is healthy to allow all of our feelings to flow through us. It is not necessary (and often, it is not possible) for us to cheer up and put on a happy face.

The thing to remember is that we want the sadness to keep moving. We want to allow our sadness to be. We do not want to drown in it.

Six Ways to Support Yourself During the Darkest Days

1. Honor your sadness.

Find a way to take some time for your sadness and yourself.

  • Light a candle.
  • Sit quietly.
  • Close your eyes.
  • Ask your sadness: Do you have a name? What do you want me to know?
  • Listen. (If it feels strange to do this, try it anyway. I have often been surprised by the insights that came when I asked myself such questions. If you hear and feel nothing, let that be okay.)

2. Support your body with nourishing foods.

Your body needs to be nourished with healthy foods to remain strong. Let this be easy.

  • Brew a cup of nourishing, relaxing tea such as oat straw or chamomile.
  • Mash an avocado with a pinch of salt and a squeeze of lime.
  • Order a smoothie or a cup of soup.
  • As you eat or drink, feel every cell and every organ in your body being fed and sustained.

3. Accept help from Flower Essences.

In the early 20th century, Edward Bach discovered that each of our negative emotional states could be brought into balance with a flower essence. Bach Flower Essences may be purchased at most health food stores.

  • For general emotional support during difficult times, try the combination of four flower essences called Rescue Remedy. Put four drops of the essence in a glass of water and sip throughout the day.
  • Other flower essences may be indicated. If you feel drawn to healing with flower essences, I recommend contacting Amy Hendrickson for a consultation.

4. Tap, tap, tap your blues away.

At least 2000 years ago, the Chinese discovered that energy can be moved by stimulating specific points on the body. From this, they developed the practice of acupuncture. You can stimulate acupuncture points on your body, simply by tapping on them. If you do this while thinking about your sadness, the sadness will begin to shift (not necessarily disappear), as if by magic. The basics of tapping for stress relief.

5. Locate the sadness and breathe it away.

Instead of thinking about why you feel this sadness, ask yourself where you feel this sadness.

  • Breathe in deeply through your nose.
  • Feel your breath go to the place where you feel the sadness.
  • Breathe out through your mouth.
  • Repeat until the sadness moves to a new spot.
  • Then, feel your breath go to this new place.
  • Notice colors, images, sounds, and feelings associated with the sad spots. No need to do anything with them, simply notice.
  • Continue as long as it feels good.

6. Read these words of hope.

The following are the lyrics to a song called “Inscription of Hope.” It is based on a poem found on the wall of a basement where Jews were hiding from Hitler. Perhaps reading these words will feed your soul. You can listen to children singing The Inscription of Hope here.

Inscription of Hope

I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
and I believe in love
even when there’s no one there

and I believe in God
even when he is silent
I believe through any trial
there is always a way

but sometimes in this suffering
and hopeless despair
my heart cries for shelter
to know someone’s there

but a voice rises within me
saying “hold on, my child
I’ll give you strength, I’ll give you hope
just stay a little while”

I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
and I believe in love
even when there’s no one there

and I believe in God
even when he is silent
I believe through any trial
there is always a way

May there someday be sunshine
may there someday be happiness
may there someday be love
may there someday be peace

Advertisements
1 Comment »

Homeopathy for Loss and Grieving

The shock, pain and sadness of loss may be experienced after any separation. For children, this may be a move to a new area, the end of a friendship, or the loss of a pet or a loved one. For a parent, the ultimate loss is the loss of a child. There are other losses that are significant: divorce, loss of independence, and loss of dreams.

Those who want to be parents but face infertility, grieve. When a child is diagnosed with a developmental dis-order such as autism or PDD-NOS, parents feel the pain of a loss for the child that could have been. It takes time to adjust expectations and embrace the life we have, rather than the life we envisioned.

Autism rights activist Jim Sinclair wrote: Parents often report that learning their child is autistic was the most traumatic thing that ever happened to them.

Some non-autistic people see autism as a great tragedy, and some parents experience continuing disappointment and grief at all stages of the child’s and family’s life cycle.

This grief does not stem from the child’s autism in itself. It is grief over the loss of the normal child the parents had hoped and expected to have. Parents’ attitudes and expectations, and the discrepancies between what parents expect of children at a particular age and their own child’s actual development, may cause more stress and anguish than the practical complexities of life with an autistic person.

Some amount of grief is natural as parents adjust to the fact that an event and a relationship they’ve been looking forward to isn’t going to materialize. But grief over a fantasized normal child needs to be separated from the parents’ perceptions of the child they do have. (I encourage you to read the whole article Don’t Mourn for Us by Jim Sinclair, from which the above is exerted.)

Advice for Bereavement

As with all the information that I provide, please take that which serves you and let the rest go.

  • Acknowledge the loss.
  • Whether the loss seems big or small, honor the feelings you are experiencing.
  • Do not feel guilty that you are grieving the fantasized normal child or your dream that your child would be playing golf or piano or talking by now.
  • All feelings are valid.
  • Be prepared for waves of emotion.

  • All of your feelings will not come at once.
  • Be gentle with yourself.
  • Feel whatever you are feeling without trying to put on a happy face – or trying to do anything.
  • Allow yourself to have your own experience.

  • Everyone processes loss differently.
  • Do not judge yourself by the experiences or time-lines of others, even if they experienced a similar loss.
  • Accept that you will learn to live with this loss and that you may never “get over it.”

  • Some losses are too big to “get over.”
  • You can laugh and go out and enjoy a meal or a movie.
  • You can enjoy life even while grieving.
  • You can be sad for “too long.”
  • You do not need to justify or explain your process.
  • Seek and accept support that is right for you.

  • Support Yourself with Cell Salts

  • The cell salts calc phos and kali phos offer gentle support for grieving mothers, fathers, and children.

Homeopathy for Loss

In the chart below, I list a few of the remedies commonly indicated for loss and grief.

Taking a homeopathic remedy will not numb your feelings or make you forget the loss. The remedy will support you and assist you in processing your emotions.

 

Remedy

Indications

Ignatia

  •  Grief with shock after the loss of a child, parent, friend or pet.
  •  Fighting the tears and swallowing your feelings.
  •  Feel a lump in the throat.
  •  Crazy laughter alternating with pitiful tears.
  • First remedy to consider for recent losses.

Gelsemium

  •  Paralysed with grief, possibly after the death of a child.
  •  Hard to cry.
  •  Sluggish. Complete lack of energy.
  •  Mind goes blank.

Nat Mur

Pulsatilla

  •  Grief-struck and weepy.
  •  Cries easily, especially when talking about what happened.

Staphysagria

  •  Resentment after loss.
  •  Angry. Blaming.

I recently came across another remedy for deep grief.  “Cygnus cygnus is a powerful remedy for deep seated grief that pervades the psyche with a deep sorrow that cannot be overcome.”  Read more here.

Where to Buy and How to Take Homeopathic Remedies

Homeopathic remedies may be purchased at most health food stores or through websites such as 1-800homeopathy.  Select the 30c potency.

To take the remedy, open the remedy vial and shake 3-4 pellets into the cap. Tip the pellets into the mouth without touching the cap to the mouth. Allow the pellets to dissolve in the mouth.

Take the remedy every evening at bedtime, at least 15 minutes after eating, drinking, and brushing teeth. Continue for one week. Evaluate how you feel. If you feel better, stop taking the remedy. If symptoms resume later, take the remedy for another week.

If you do not feel different, select a different remedy or consult a homeopath who can help you choose the correct remedy for you.

In matters of health and healing, be fanatical about self-responsibility. Cell Salts and homeopathic remedies enable you to participate actively in your own healing.  At the same time, you should continue to see your doctor and therapist for examinations, advice, and treatment.    Nothing on this site is intended as a substitute for medical advice.

References for this post:

Miranda Castro:  Homeopathic Guide to Stress:  Safe and Effective Natural Ways to Alleviate Physical and Emotional Stress.

Didier Grandgeorge, MD:  The Spirit of Homeopathic Medicines:  Essential Insights to 300 Remedies.

 

Remedy

Indications

Ignatia

  • Grief with shock after the loss of a child, parent, friend or pet.  (Very useful for recent losses.)
  • Fighting the tears and swallowing your feelings.
  • Feel a lump in the throat.
  • Crazy laughter alternating with pitiful tears.
  • Paralysed with grief, possibly after the death of a child.
  • Hard to cry.
  • Sluggish.  Complete lack of energy.
  • Mind goes blank.
  • Old grief.  Or, a new grief that awakens the unexpressed sadness from old losses.
  • See Nat Mur:  A Remedy for Almost Everybody
  • Grief-struck and weepy.
  • Cries easily, especially when talking about what happened.
  • Resentment after loss.
  • Angry.  Blaming.

Gelsemium

Nat Mur

Pulsatilla

Staphysagria

Remedy

Indications

Ignatia

  •  Grief with shock after the loss of a child, parent, friend or pet. (Very useful for recent losses.)
  •  Fighting the tears and swallowing your feelings.
  •  Feel a lump in the throat.
  •  Crazy laughter alternating with pitiful tears.
  •  Paralysed with grief, possibly after the death of a child.
  •  Hard to cry.
  •  Sluggish. Complete lack of energy.
  •  Mind goes blank.
  •  Old grief. Or, a new grief that awakens the unexpressed sadness from old losses.
  •  See Nat Mur: A Remedy for Almost Everybody
  •  Grief-struck and weepy.
  •  Cries easily, especially when talking about what happened.
  •  Resentment after loss.
  •  Angry. Blamin

Gelsemium

Nat Mur

Pulsatilla

Staphysagria

Remedy

Indications

Ignatia

  • Grief with shock after the loss of a child, parent, friend or pet.  (Very useful for recent losses.)
  • Fighting the tears and swallowing your feelings.
  • Feel a lump in the throat.
  • Crazy laughter alternating with pitiful tears.
  • Paralysed with grief, possibly after the death of a child.
  • Hard to cry.
  • Sluggish.  Complete lack of energy.
  • Mind goes blank.
  • Old grief.  Or, a new grief that awakens the unexpressed sadness from old losses.
  • See Nat Mur:  A Remedy for Almost Everybody
  • Grief-struck and weepy.
  • Cries easily, especially when talking about what happened.
  • Resentment after loss.
  • Angry.  Blaming.

Gelsemium

Nat Mur

Pulsatilla

Staphysagria

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment »

The Difference Between Mundane and Miraculous EFT: One Session with a Pro Can Change Your Life

Perhaps I shouldn’t admit this, but my first experiences with EFT (a meridian tapping technique) were rather uninspiring. When I first heard about tapping, I still thought it was my job to fix my children.

I was always looking for ways to change and improve them. Somewhere I read about using the EFT technique to help children manage their emotions and avoid intense outbursts. I decided I needed to teach my children this technique. The testimonials were convincing.

EFT On My Own

From the written instructions, I wasn’t entirely sure how the process was supposed to work. I found the whole tapping thing odd and complicated.

Not surprisingly, my results were unspectacular. I got out what I put in – not much.  After one attempt to tap on my children, I placed the book on a bookshelf and deemed this another over-hyped modality.

Often, a technique or remedy is not right for us and our children. But sometimes, there is a timing issue. We may not be ready or the moment might not be ripe.

When the time is right, a teacher will appear.

A year or two later, a group of mothers at an on-line forum I frequented began discussing EFT. Coincidentally, a woman I knew contacted me and told me her friend wanted to practice EFT on a mother of an autistic child. “Are you interested?”  she asked.

While I was pretty sure this tapping thing would not work for me , the offer came during my darkest days. I was desperate and willing to try almost anything.

EFT with a Practitioner

When I walked into Linda Kent’s home office, I did not know what to expect. I was surprised to learn that this technique was not about fixing my children. It was about helping me feel better.

Linda asked me a number of questions and then started tapping on me. She explained that I might feel sensations in my body or remember incidents from long ago.

She tapped on me and helped me formulate set-up phrases like those I use in the demo. I was convinced nothing was happening, but sat there politely while she tapped and talkead.

I no longer remember what we were tapping on, but when she said, and I repeated, “Even though I feel so alone, I deeply and completely love and accept myself,”  something deep inside of me cracked opened. My tears flowed and flowed and healing began.

It was then that I understood the power of EFT.  In that moment, something shifted.

That first session was transformative for me.  It took me on a journey of deep healing. It led to my studying EFT and Matrix Reimprinting and using them often for myself and others.

Please don’t be discouraged if you don’t feel much the first few times you tap — even with a practitioner. I believe that the early sessions “prime the pump.” They start balancing and opening energy channels.

Stick with it, work with a practitioner or try a group session. When it starts working for you (and for many people this is during the first session), you will be forever grateful to have this handy tool in your pocket.

I plan to resume group and private tapping sessions soon. Comment if you’re interested in experiencing meridian tapping for better, easier parenting. Or email nataliaerehnah@gmail.com

In the interview below, I talk to Annabele Fisher about my journey with EFT and Matrix Reimprinting.

Be the Best Mother You Can Be with Matrix Reimprinting and EFT

Leave a comment »

YELLOW ROSE FOR TEXAS STUFF

YELLOW ROSE FOR TEXAS STUFF ... EEEK ! ! !

Watts Up With That?

The world's most viewed site on global warming and climate change

TarotPugs

Tarot, Witchcraft and Pugs

Captain's Blog

News for the Collective Cosmic Journey

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

THE MARSHALL REPORT

Exposing The Establishment Daily

Higher Density Blog

Love Is Always The Answer

Spiritual Nutrition: Clean and Pristine

Real Food, Real People, Real Living...

Nature's Magical Photography By Jaxs

Connecting with earth and the universe through photography

Rose Rambles...

What in the World is on Cynthia's mind? Love, Spirituality, free energy, abundance

Rebecca Wood

Discovering Ourselves through Parenting

L D Lewis

SFF Writer and Worldbuilder

The Lonely Author

Hoping to inspire the world one word at a time.

But I Smile Anyway...

Musings and memories, words and wisdom... of a working family woman

sibo-with-hope

A blog dedicated to maintaining hope while healing from SIBO

Tighten Your Query

Fewer words. Greater impact.

Living in The Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina- A Blog

Enjoy the Colorful Photographic Impressions created by Vann Helms

Physicsmania

The best thing about physics is that it is always true either you believe or not