Swan Mothers

Discovering Our True Selves by Parenting Uniquely Magnificent Children

Inspired Living

I’ve known for a while, but this week, my knowing erupted anew. It said, “Make the change! Put self-love at the heart of everything you do. Be who you are.”

This blog has been stalled and stale because I was trying to be who I was in the past and who (and how) I thought I was supposed to be now. I thought I’d learned the value of being myself years ago, but I seem to have forgotten what I learned, and new layers and opportunities continue to present themselves. Here’s what I know today:

Swan Mothers is not an autism blog, even though autism rocked my world and launched me into the most amazing journey of my life.

Swan Mothers is not a parenting blog, though parenting my three children (autistic and otherwise unique and wonderful) has been the most rewarding, challenging, and transformative aspect of that journey.

Swan Mothers is, first and foremost, a blog about the transformative aspect of the parenting journey, and of life. It is about being my Truest, Brightest Self and sharing what I’ve learned with you. It is a space to consider where I’ve been and where I’m going, but most of all, to shine who I Am.

Enter Felix Felicis

Felix Felicis by 1995levente via DeviantArt

As I pondered the question of what to do with this awareness, a scene from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince popped into my head. In it, Harry takes a sip of Felix Felicis, also known as liquid luck, to help him accomplish a task in which he’d made no progress after months of trying. After drinking a few drops, he immediately knows what to do. His eyes light up and he says, “I have a really good feeling about this,” as he dashes off following inspiration, rather his carefully-laid plan.

This scene exemplifies Inspired Action. I have felt the frustration of doing, for the sake of doing. I have experienced little success in achieving my goals when taking action because it was the next logical step, or because an expert suggested it.

Henceforth, I shall act (and write) from with the spirit of Felix Felicis, wallowing in the sensation of infinite opportunity. I shall allow for periods of dormancy, stillness, and growth. And, when I am inspired to act, I shall follow Knowing and Inspiration, ready to be lucky in my endeavors.

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When Clothes Hurt, Homeopathy Can Help

Many autistic children are very sensitive. For these children, clothing may be uncomfortable to the point of being intolerable.

Mothers or the children often develop coping strategies:

  • Socks worn inside out so the seams don’t rub.
  • Tags taped to minimize scratching.
  • Sweat pants substituted for jeans.

Some children refuse to wear the offensive items. Bare feet work well in some situations. In others, socks are needed for hygiene or safety reasons. Similarly, there are times when pants or a jacket are highly beneficial.

Of course, children don’t need to be autistic or have SPD to be sensitive to clothes. These remedy descriptions are relevant to all children and adults.

Making It Easier to Wear Socks (and other clothes)

I recently wrote a blog post describing how EFT may be used to eliminate some issues related to hyper-sensitivity.

Homeopathy too recognizes the issue of clothing sensitivity – and many other sensitivities.

There are thousands of homeopathic remedies. Some, most notably first aid remedies, are indicated for specific conditions. Other remedies are indicated for specific people.

When looking at issues like sensitivity, it is best to seek a constitutional remedy for your child. Work with a professional homeopath who will look at your child’s whole picture. She will consider your child’s physical, mental and emotional health and signs and symptoms of disturbances in the vital force. Everything is important to the homeopath: your child’s food preferences, times of day or year when they are better or worse, sleep habits, digestive issues, personality — everything!

Choosing a Remedy to Alleviate Clothing Intolerance

Below I describe some remedies a homeopath may consider for an individual who is agitated or disturbed by their clothing. I have not indicated “intolerance of clothing” in describing the types of children who might require these remedies since it is common to all of the remedies listed.

Study the remedy pictures below and see if one of them matches many characteristics of your child. No child will have every trait and symptom listed. Note that these lists provide only a brief overview of the remedy picture.

Calcarea Carbonica

Mental State

If your child is afraid of the dark, dogs, insects, strangers or illness, this remedy may be useful for him.

Calc Carb children are serious and independent.

Physical Signs

Calc Carb children are often slow learning to walk and talk.  They crave sugar, eggs, and milk products.

These children tend to be chubby – though if your child is thin and matches the other characteristics, this may still be the remedy they need.  They perspire profusely on the head.

They are prone to ear infections, sore throats, and runny noses.

They have sensitive mouths and may develop canker sores.

Lachesis

Mental State

Lachesis children are dictatorial and extremely talkative (this includes babble). They are intensely uncomfortable in tight clothes and particularly dislike having anything on their throats or around their necks.

They have a tendency to be jealous and very attached to their mothers.

Physical Signs

For these children, all illness begins on the left side. All symptoms are aggravated by sleep.

They may be susceptible to head lice.

Lycopodium

Mental State

Highly intelligent children who dread taking on new things, though they work hard and do well in spite of their nerves. They worry about many things and lack self-confidence. (Lycopodium is also discussed in the article Super-Easy Homeopathy for Boosting Kids’ Confidence)

Lycopodium children exhibit a mature personality even at a young age. They have an aversion to responsibility and worry about doing something wrong.

They often have difficulty learning to read and may be dyslexic.

Physical Signs

The children are opposite from Lachesis children. Their ailments start in the right side of the body.

Nat Mur

I have written several times about Nat Mur. Please see Nat Mur:  A Remedy for (Almost) Everybody.

No match?

There are hundreds of other homeopathic remedies. Any one of them may be the one indicated for your child. 

Where to Buy and How to Take Homeopathic Remedies

Homeopathic remedies may be purchased at most health food stores or through websites such as 1-800homeopathy. Select the 30c potency.

To take the remedy, open the remedy vial and shake 3-4 pellets into the cap. Tip the pellets into the mouth without touching the cap to the mouth. Allow the pellets to dissolve in the mouth.

Give your child the remedy every evening at bedtime, at least 15 minutes after eating, drinking, and brushing teeth. Continue for one week. Observe and note any changes. If he or she is doing better, stop taking the remedy. If symptoms resume later, take the remedy again.

If you do not observe positive changes in sleep, behavior and/or confidence, select a different remedy or consult a homeopath who can guide you in selecting a remedy.

In matters of health and healing, be fanatical about self-responsibility. Cell Salts and homeopathic remedies enable you to participate actively in your own healing. You should continue to see your doctor for examinations, advice and treatment. Nothing on this site is intended as a substitute for medical advice.

References for this post:

Catherine R. Coulter:  Homoeopathic Sketches of Children’s Types.

Didier Grandgeorge, MD:  The Spirit of Homeopathic Medicines:  Essential Insights to 300 Remedies.

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Matrix Magic for Sensitive Children

Many children today are very sensitive. Tight clothes and seams are intolerable to them. Loud noises and bright lights overwhelm them. They are upset in crowded rooms.

The sights, sounds and sensations that go un-noticed by most people may be unbearable to autistic children and those with sensory integration differences.

Meridian Tapping (EFT) is an easy technique that might help highly sensitive children to be more comfortable in clothes and in life. Meridian Tapping involves tapping on specific points on the body while saying words related to the discomfort.

To learn to tap, please click here to view my Super Easy Tapping Guide.

Once you understand the basic tapping formula, try the following super-easy tapping method to manage and moderate sensitivities.

Begin With Yourself

Tap your karate chop point and say these set-up phrases:

  • Even though my child is so sensitive and it makes my life difficult, I’m still a good mother.
  • Even though he complains about everything and it is driving me crazy, I can be okay with myself.
  • Even though it is hard to constantly placate him, I’m still a good person.

Next, tap through the points alternating the reminder phrases:

  • My life is difficult.
  • Little things are a big deal.

If these phrases don’t feel right to you, adjust them so they fit your feelings and your situation.

After a round or more of tapping on the problem, begin alternating the problem phrase with a choice phrase.  For example:

TH: My life is difficult.
IE: I choose to be easy on myself.
OE: Every little thing is an issue.
UE: I choose to be o.k. with that.
UN: My life is difficult.
CH: I choose to be easy on myself.
CB: Every little thing is an issue.
UA: I choose to be o.k. with that.
TF: My life is difficult.
IF: I choose to be easy on myself.
MF: Every little thing is an issue.
RF: I choose to be o.k. with that.
LF: I choose to experience joy every day.

Finally, do a whole round of tapping using positive choice statements such as:

  • I choose be okay with this.
  • I choose to like my life.

Tap with Your Child

Once you are in a good space with regarding your child’s sensitivities, you may consider working with your child.  Always do your own work first. If you are upset, you will not be able to help her.

Do not try to teach your child to tap in the heat of the moment. She will not be receptive.

The first time you tap with your child, choose a calm, quiet time. I like to tap with my children at bedtime.

Begin with a gentle explanation that is appropriate for your child. “I have learned a magical way to make you feel better. Would you like to try it?”

You know your child best. Choose one of these methods for tapping or present your child with these choices:

1.       Tap gently on your child while saying the phrases.

2.       Instead of tapping, touch the tapping points gently while saying the phrases.

3.       Model for your child by tapping on yourself. Encourage your child to tap on herself if she is receptive.

4.       Use a doll or stuffed bear to demonstrate the tapping. Encourage your child to tap on the bear while saying the phrases. You can ask, “How does bear feel when he puts on his socks?” Let your child use her own words as she taps.

5.       Use words that appeal to your child.

Set-up phrase:  Even though socks hurt my feet and I want to scream, I’m still a great kid.

Tap using the formula demonstrated and described in the Super-Easy Tapping Guide.

Facilitating Comfort, Not Eliminating Ways of Being

Many autistic teens and adults say that, though their sensitivities may be painful or challenging, they would not want to give them up for it is through this intense sensitivity that they have their own experience of the world. Meridian Tapping will not want to change our children into us. It will help them to be as comfortable as possible while retaining all of their gifts.

Bigger Shifts:  Matrix Reimprinting for Sensitive Children

Many children experience early traumas. Birth is traumatic. Some children receive harsh interventions as soon as they are born. Children might feel traumatized by separations from their mother, accidents, deaths in the family, being very scared for whatever reason — or a hundred other things.

Through Matrix Reimprinting work, we know that these events and incidents leave a mark on the child that will last until adulthood if it is not healed. Using surrogate Matrix Reimprinting, we can rewrite these events for the child.

If such work interests you, please join me in Group Healing Work and how reimprinting these early events can transform your child’s life.

You can also support your child with homeopathic remedies and cell salts

Be gentle with your child.  Be gentle with yourself.  Have a peaceful day.

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Self-Care for Mothers: Be Your Own Top Priority for a Few Minutes a Day

Why is it so easy to be smart about other people and so difficult to be smart for ourselves? 

My upper foot arm has been hurting since May. I waited two months before seeking healing assistance or doing anything about it.

If my children or husband announce a pain, I immediately pull out homeopathic remedies and research the symptoms. I suggest a visit to the chiropractor or a healer. For myself? I ignore symptoms and wait.  Yikes!

 

 

Taking Yourself Off the Back Burner

On an airplane, we are directed to put on our own oxygen mask before assisting others. We cannot help our children if we are not breathing. How often to you forget to metaphorically breathe? 

The list of things we have to do is long. We cook, shop, drive, bath, conflict-mediate, drive some more, clean, coach, cuddle, coddle. We volunteer at school and scouts and soccer and do our day jobs.

Taking care of ourselves falls to the bottom of the list.

When we do not care for ourselves, resentment builds. We wonder why no one is taking care of us. Why should they when we demonstrate our Wonder Woman-ness all the time, subtly declaring, “I’ve got it! I can do that for you. I’m not important. I don’t need anything .”

Victim to Creator in 10-minutes per Day

You can do all of these exercises in one 10-minute stretch or do them one at a time throughout the day.

1 Minute:  Do the Thymus Thump.

Using your fingers, tap gently on the middle of your chest, directly on your sternum. While you tap, breathe slowly and deeply.

This exercise will stimulate your energies, boost your immune system, and release stress.

It really works. Try it now for 30 – 60 seconds and feel yourself come alive.

2 Minutes:  Breathe

Over-recommended and under-utilized, breath is the surest, easiest way to center and calm yourself.  Breath takes you out of the stressful fight or flight mode we live in much of the time and shifts the physiological processes in the body. Conscious breathing

  • increases ability to digest/absorb nutrients
  • releases hormones to balance the endocrine system
  • promotes healing

Imagine that your abdomen is a cylindrical container. Breathe in through your nose. For a count of three, feel the bottom of the cylinder pushing down. Continue to breathe in for a count of three more as you feel the sides of the cylinder expand. Continue to breathe in for a count of three more as you feel the top of the cylinder push up. Reverse for the exhale: top pushes down, sides push in, bottom pushes up. Continue for two minutes or at least until you have completed three full breaths in and out.

3 Minutes:  Connect with the World

In Women Who Run with the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D., writes, “…many times it is the things of nature that are the most healing, especially the very accessible and the very simple ones. The medicines of nature and powerful and straightforward…”

Take three minutes to go outside. Gaze at the stars or the clouds. Lay down on the grass. Sniff the air. Feel the warmth of the sun or the chill of the night.

Three minutes immersed in the enormity and continuance of the world will connect you to a force that will sustain and inspire you when you return to your ordinary busyness.

4 Minutes:  Write a List of Positive Aspects

Most days, we do a lot of things right. Most days our children and partners and those around us do something that uplifts us. In every day, there is something good.

Oprah and a hundred other people extol the value of gratitude lists and journals. This is because we find what we seek. If you look for the good in your children and those around you, you will see it.

Buy a journal and label it “Book of Positive Aspects.”  Each day, take four minutes to write down a few satisfactory things about you day. Can’t think of anything? Take a minute to breathe in and out of your heart and try again. ♥

  • What you did well.
  • Things you appreciate about your children and your partner.
  • Great features of your home or work life.

If you prefer group support, visit My Everyday Magic, a daily gratitude blogs hosted and visited by beautiful people. 

That’s it! By doing these four simple exercises, you will be your own top priority for at least ten minutes each day.  The good feelings you generate will overflow into the rest of the day.

In matters of health and healing, be fanatical about self-responsibility. Check facts and carefully evaluate if suggestions are right for you and your children.

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Super-Easy Homeopathy for Boosting Kids’ Confidence

“I’m the worst reader in the class,” Sara announced mid-first grade. “I’m just dumb.”

Sara’s mother was heart-broken hearing her six year old say these words. Sara was a polite, kind and obviously intelligent girl. Yet, because she saw other children reading chapter books while she struggled with simple readers, she had become convinced that she was stupid.

Another child might have shrugged off her lack of reading skills with, “Oh well.  I’m really good at soccer. I’ll figure out reading one of these days.” For Sara, the conviction that she was inferior to her peers carried over to other parts of her life. She walked around with her head hanging. She decided that she was also a bad dancer and that no one wanted to play with her.

Why do some children move through set-backs and while others are intensely affected? Because we are born with different personalities and constitutions. Our distinctive ways of being influence our mental, emotional and physical responses to stress.

Homeopathic philosophy recognizes and honors our individual responses to stress and homeopathic remedies support children during difficult stages of growth and development.

Choosing a Remedy to Boost Confidence

Consider the remedies below and determine if one of them matches many characteristics of your child. No child will have every characteristic listed. These lists provide only a brief overview of the remedy picture.

Baryta Carb

Shy and nervous children who find social situations difficult. They lack self-confidence and are emotionally immature. They tend to be naïve and mentally sluggish.

  • Anxious
  • Bites fingernails
  • Concentration difficult
  • Easily embarrassed
  • Fearful in social situations and of strangers
  • Thinks everyone is laughing at him
  • Delayed intellectual development
  • Poor appetite, poor sleep, stunted growth

Lycopodium

Bookish children who dislike sports. They dread taking on new things, though they work hard and do well in spite of their nerves. They worry about many things and lack self-confidence.

  • Mature personality even at a young age
  • Good natured and easy to deal with
  • Aversion to responsibility
  • Worried about doing something wrong
  • Bites fingernails
  • Difficulty learning to read
  • Fear before exams
  • Fear of getting lost
  • Treats people very fairly, dispassionately
  • Kicks and screams at night without waking

Nat Mur

Sensitive, serious, intensely private children who appear prickly because they are not good at expressing their emotions. They suppress their feelings and dwell on old hurts. They are self-conscious.

  • Children who are difficult to have around
  • Life is difficult for them
  • “Don’t touch me!” attitude (works through difficulties alone)
  • Sad, carries a chip on her shoulder
  • Strong sense of duty and commitment to overseeing the welfare of others
  • Bites fingernails in private
  • Cannot hide displeasure
  • May have a poor relationship with one or both parents
  • Difficulty expressing needs and anger with words
  • Also read, Nat Mur:  A Remedy for (Almost) Everybody and Two Cases of Nat Mur

Silica

These children lack grit and self-confidence. They are sensitive and serious.  They will usually give way if pushed, but will quietly do what they wanted to do anyway.

  • Afraid to try anything new because she is convinced that she will fail
  • Anxious before exams
  • Shy around strangers
  • Very attached to home
  • Physically delicate and emotionally sensitive
  • May appear thin and malnourished
  • Conscientious and tidy
  • Asthma
  • Can’t fix attention
  • Conscientious
  • See also Restoring Balance with Cell Salts

Staphysagria

Sensitive children who are easily offended. They are angry and tend to blame others for their difficulties. They lack self-confidence and resent those who are doing better than they.

  • Angry, with difficulty expressing anger
  • Apathetic about everything
  • Compliant, conscientious and hard working
  • Take on too much work because it is hard for them to say no

Choose the remedy that is the best match for your child’s whole picture.

No remedy match?

There are many more homeopathic remedies that may be indicated for your child. If you want a complete consultation that will address all aspects of your child’s health and well-being, please contact a professional homeopath.

You can also take cell salts such as Calc Fluor or Calc Phos to boost self-esteem.

Raising self-confident and self-reliant children is a long-term endeavor. Children grow and learn when parents allow them to discover their own strengths and abilities by doing things on their own. When we choose our words carefully, the praise we offer is healthy, not harmful. When we allow ourselves be flexible and change our own ideas, out children learn and grow.

Update on Sara’s Reading

After a few doses of lycopdium, Sara began to sound out words.  Her mother found a series about a puppy named Biscuit and Sara wanted to read for the first time ever. She also began sleeping better at night.

Six months later, her reading level (as designated by the school protocol) jumped from level 11 to level 21. She is now reading at grade level and enjoying her first chapter books.

Learn More Ways to Help Your Children

If you want to learn more ways to support your children and to make your life and your children’s lives easier, healthier and more fun, please consider joining me in the Swan Mothers Circle.

I teach the best of what I’ve learned and am learning on the journey of parenting Uniquely Magnificent Children.

I know your time is very valuable.  I strive to make each minute count and to offer tools and ideas for making your life and your family’s life easier, healthier and more fun.

Where to Buy and How to Take Homeopathic Remedies

Homeopathic remedies may be purchased at most health food stores or through websites such as 1-800homeopathy. For remedies, select the 30c potency. For the cell salts, select 6x.

To take the remedy, open the remedy vial and shake 3-4 pellets into the cap. Tip the pellets into the mouth without touching the cap to the mouth. Allow the pellets to dissolve in the mouth.

Give your child the remedy every evening at bedtime, at least 15 minutes after eating, drinking, and brushing teeth. Continue for one week. Observe and note any changes. If he or she is doing better overall, stop taking the remedy. If symptoms come back, take the remedy for another week.

If you do not observe positive changes in sleep, digestion, behavior and/or confidence, select a different remedy or consult a homeopath who will guide you in selecting a remedy.

In matters of health and healing, be fanatical about self-responsibility. Cell Salts and homeopathic remedies enable you to participate actively in your own healing and may compliment the care your receive from your physician and therapists. You should continue to see your doctor for examinations and for advice and treatment.  Nothing on this site is intended as a substitute for medical advice.

References for this post:

Homoeopathic Sketches of Children’s Types

Homeopathic Guide to Stress: Safe and Effective Natural Way to Alleviate Physical and Emotional Stress Anxiety, Guilt, Shame, Depression, Loss, Illness and Injury, Negative Effect

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Homeopathy for Children Affected by Moon Cycles

Daniel had been attending an adaptive swim class for over a year. Each week, four autistic boys are taught by two wonderful instructors. Watching the boys’ progress was been exciting. Daniel, who was already a decent swimmer when he joined the class (but was overwhelmed by larger group classes) advanced to learning the butterfly stroke. One of the other boys, who just the previous year refused to put his head underwater, was swimming on his own. All of them enjoyed the hour of swimming, floating, playing water basketball, and jumping.

One day, we entered the athletic club with only one minute to spare, so I encouraged Daniel to hurry. He became so upset that it took me 30 minutes to help him calm down. This is very unusual for him. During the class, two of the other boys were also acting in ways we do not usually see.

As we drove to class, I had noticed that the moon was very large and round.  A quick check confirmed that the full moon is only a few hours away.

I have noticed that many of my autistic friends post about intensified feelings and emotions as the full moon approaches.  Do the lunar cycles affect your child?

Homeopathy 102

One of the tenets of homeopathy is individualization. When I am asked, “Is there a really a homeopathic remedy for my child having more tantrums during the full moon?” I reply that there are at least 51 possible remedies that incorporate this symptom. There is also one particular remedy that is the perfect match for each individual.

The way homeopaths learn what a homeopathic medicine will cure is through the use of experiments called drug provings.  Healthy individuals take the remedy being tested until a reaction to the substance is achieved. Subjects report all symptoms that occur while the remedy is being proved.

The information obtained from proving is compiled into materia medicas (encyclopedias of drug effects) and repertories (books which list symptoms and the substances that have been found to cause and/or cure them).

Homeopathic Remedies and Lunar Phases

My repertory lists remedies for aggravations during the full moon, the new moon, the waxing moon, and the waning moon.  Even if each of the four boys in the swimming class experiences an aggravation of symptoms with the arrival of the full moon, each will probably need a different remedy.

Remedies Indicated for Individuals Whose Symptoms are Worse Around the Time of the Full Moon

1.       Argentum Nitricum

a.       A remedy for anxious children with anxiety in crowded rooms and fear of heights

b.      Desire sugar

c.       Anxiety about time and space

2.       Calcarea Carbonica

a.       For fearful children (fear dogs and/or dark and/or illness)

b.      Often slow learning to walk and talk

c.       Crave eggs, sugar and milk products

3.       Lycopodium

a.       Do you joke that your child was a king or queen in a previous life? Children who need this remedy seem to want to recover power lost but lack self-confidence.

b.      Intelligent and stubborn

c.       Read more about the Lycopodium picture in these posts:

4.       Phosphorus

a.       Children who blaze brightly, then burn out

b.      Crave salt and are very thirsty

c.       Subject to nosebleeds

5.       Pulsatilla

a.       Clingy children, very attached to mother

b.      Absence of thirst

c.       Frequent colds, ear infections, asthma

6.       Silica

a.       Thin children who lack grit

b.      Very smart, but shy and try not to stand out

c.       Lack self-confidence

 

Remedies Indicated for Individuals Whose Symptoms are Worse Around the Time of the New Moon

1.       Arsenicum Album

a.       Very restless and anxious children with intense obsessions

b.      Tend to have burning pains that are relieved by heat

c.       Fear death and being left alone

2.       Nux Vomica

a.       Irritable

b.      Hypersensitive to noise and light.  These children do not like music.

c.       Very fussy and want every detail in place

3.       Phosphorus

a.       See above.  Affected during full and new moon.

4.       Pulsatilla

a.       See above.  Affected during full and new moon.

5.       Rhus-tox

a.       Sick during teething

b.      Subject to sprains and strains of joints

6.       Sulphur

a.       Subject to skin diseases such as eczema

b.      Tendency to smell bad, possibly like rotten eggs

c.       May look sloppy and love to have fun

Gaining Insights

These very brief descriptions of some aspects of the remedies are provided as an illustration. They are not sufficient for self-prescribing. I hope that they give you a peek at the range of action and healing potential of homeopathic remedies.

A remedy is prescribed on the whole picture of the individual, including physical, mental and emotional symptoms. If your child’s symptoms (whatever they are) are aggravated with the full or new moon, this provides the homeopath with a big clue to finding a remedy that will be helpful in improving overall health and balance.

If you wish to learn how to use homeopathic remedies to support your child, consider joining me in the next Swan Mothers’ Circle:  Loving Life with Uniquely Magnificent Children.

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Homeopathy for Stressed Out Kids

One morning, my they seven year old was near tears when he heard that he would be taking karate on Saturday.

We did not impose karate on him.  He has been expressing a keen interest in karate lessons for over a year and has great plans for beating up his brother. Yet, he was despondent about giving up 30 minutes on Saturday morning. “Saturdays are supposed to be my time!”

Over-Scheduled, Over-Stressed

Children and adults often wonder when they will have some “me time.” With kids back in school, parents are lamenting that even their very young children complain of being stressed and overwhelmed.

I once sat with a few mothers of second graders week so that our children could play and be kids.  Fund-raiser sheets circulated — politely. Conversation was pleasant — if scattered since one child or another always needed a mother’s attention. There was joyful ruckus as the boys ran and played.

It was great. For an hour. Then everyone rushed off for sports practices and other activities.

I place great value on time for free play for children (and adults!)  But my family’s schedule is crowded too.  Music lessons, homeschool activities, martial arts, Saturday Ukrainian school, scouts, and choir concerts are on the agenda this fall. These are divided between three children. The pace is hectic, and sometimes stressful.

Homeopathy for School Anxiety and Pressure

A month ago, I wrote Three 5-Minute Tips for Making the Transition from Summer to School Easier. If you missed the original post, check it out now.  All of tips remain relevant and will make for an easier school year.

This morning, one of my favorite homeopathy sites, 1-800-Homeopathy, posted an article titled Homeopathy Helps Students Rise to the Occasion. They suggest some great remedies for test and performance anxiety and recommend cell salts for calming.

If you’ve been reading for a while, you know that I am a BIG fan of cells salts.

I would like to offer my endorsement for the final recommendation from the 800-Homeopathy article:

“Nervous Tension Tissue P – With Kali phosCalc phos and other key homeopathic cell salts for growing pains and tension, this homeopathic remedy’s fundamental support can be called on anytime. Between adjusting to new teachers, classrooms, classmates, and leaving summer behind, the first days of school can be very stressful even for homeschoolers. Starting off strong and confident can set the pace for the whole year. With a little worry free support, you can minimize anxiety and maximize potential.”

Remember that homeopathy works best when remedies are prescribed for individuals rather than for conditions.  If you try the remedies recommended in the article and see some progress and then it stalls, or if you see no results, consider a consultation to find the perfect remedy for your child — or you.

Update:  Five Years Later

We’ve moved a few times, which necessitated changing martial arts schools. My son loves his tae kwon do classes and attends six or more each week. He is working toward a black belt.  And yes, he’s been taking his cell salts and remedies.

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Overcoming Mother Fears and Accessing Mother Power

If you had a preconceived notion of what your child would be like, how he or she would act, look and behave, what you are experiencing may not be want you wanted or expected. Letting go of our “dream child” can be difficult task. Even more difficult may be letting go of the “dream parent” we imagined we would be.

Our children will not be parented as we learned to parent (or not to parent) in our childhoods or by observing trends around us. We might find ourselves grieving the loss of the child that never materialized and mourning the parent that we wish to be, but cannot.

The Children We Wanted, the Child We Have

We know that there is no quick fix that will make our autistic or neurodivergent child into the dream child we envisioned (possibly without realizing that we had some picture in our minds) before they arrived.  There is no way to ease into the mode parenting we once imagined.

Our grief can blind us. It can prevent us from seeing the unique magnificence of the children we do have. It may keep us from experiencing the greatness of our own love and power.

Perfection

Either all children and parents are perfect – or none of us is. Perhaps in our trying and striving and doing our best, we are enough. Maybe our children are enough, without needing to do anything. Conversely, we might all fall short of the mark of perfection.

In either case, feeling miserable and acting inadequate serves none of us.

As we reflect on a day, we may sometimes feel that we’ve done well. On other days, we may be overwhelmed by our multitude of failures.

A Return to Love

Marianne Williamson recognized an important truth and penned it into what has been called a poem and a prayer. It is actually an excerpt from her book, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles.”

I invite you to read this passage (below in blue) and to tap on the suggested points.

As you tap, pay attention to what is happening in your body. Notice any memories or feelings that come to the surface. Write them down in a notebook to be tapped on later.

Do Your Own Experiment

In their book, Matrix Reimprinting Using EFT: Rewrite Your Past, Transform Your Future, Karl Dawson and Sasha Allenby suggest that it takes 21 days for new neural connections to form in the brain.

Tap on the script that follows for 21 days and notice any changes.

Contact a professional Matrix Reimprinting practitioner if you need help.

Feel Your Mother Power Tapping Script

Tapping Point Graphic by Karl Dawson

Tapping Point Graphic by Karl Dawson, author of Matrix Reimprinting


Our Greatest Fear is not that we are inadequate. (TH)

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. (BE)

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. (SE)

We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?” (UE)

Actually, who are you not to be? (UN)

You are a child of God.  (CH)

Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. (CB)

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. (UA)

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.  (Thumb)

It is not just in some of us, (Index Finger)

it is in every one, (Middle Finger)

And as we let our own light shine, (Ring Finger)

We unconsciously give other people Permission to do the same. (Little Finger)

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. (Karate Chop)

Options

When you have tapped on these words, try tapping from the perspective of “My greatest fear…” and “Her greatest fear.”

References

I read about tapping on these words in an article by eaglemoon raes.

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Three 5-Minute Tips for Making the Transition from Summer to School Easier

There is a cool breeze and I’m wearing a sweater for the first time in two months. I won’t need it in another hour. Still, it is a poignant sign that summer is coming to an end. Ready or not, it is time to get ready for school.

After a summer of swimming, hiking, sleeping in, and running around outside, it is time to shift gears. For some children, this transition will be easy. For those who need a little help, I offer these tips.

1.     Give the Bach Flower Essence Walnut.

Flower Essences are liquid tinctures prepared from flowers. Each flower is capable of gently balancing emotional disturbances.

The flower essence for transition is Walnut. It can provide ease and confidence in moving through new situations such as adapting to a new fall schedule.

Also consider these flower essences:

  • Aspen – if your child is experiences fears of unknown origin, general apprehension, or panic attacks
  • Larch – to boost self-confidence
  • Mimulus – if your child has fears of known origin (dogs, going to school, riding the bus)

Bach Flower Essences are available at most health food stores or on-line. Give up to five at the same time by placing two drops of each that is needed in a glass or bottle of water. Have your child sip this mixture throughout the day.

2.     Train the Brain with Movement.

Movements that cross the mid-line develop coordination between the right and left hemispheres of the brain. This helps children with writing, reading, and math. I find that it also improves attention and emotional balance.

One basic move to try is the Cross Crawl. Here’s how:

March in place and touch the right hand to the left knee and then the left hand to the right knee with each step. You can also touch the (opposite) knee to elbow, touch the (opposite) foot behind the back. Continue for three minutes.

For younger children, it is fun to do these moves while singing (or chanting) confidence-building songs. For example, march while singing to the tune of Farmer in the Dell:

My feelings they create,
My feelings they create,
By attracting their own kind,
My feelings they create.

I choose to feel smart.
I choose to feel smart.
Smart — this is the way I am.
I choose to feel smart.

Spend three minutes each morning doing this before your children head out the door or before you start lessons at home. You will be amazed at the difference three minutes can make. (The song is from the book: Joyful Child)

3.     Teach Your Child How to Stay Calm and Focused with Secret Tapping.

Follow the Super-Easy Tapping Guide to learn EFT, a method that can be used to calm down fast.

When I want to quickly regain my balance using EFT with people around, I use an abbreviated method. Omit the tapping points on the face and torso and tap only on the fingers. This handy technique can be used anytime, anywhere.

Teach your children to finger tap now. When school starts, they will have this always-accessible technique “in their pocket” to be used as needed.

They could tap on simple phrases such as:

  • I’m so angry!
  • That’s so unfair!
  • I’m so frustrated!
  • I’ll never understand!
  • I’m so confused.

After a few rounds of tapping on the feeling they are experiencing, teach them to tap in an affirming phrase such as:

  • I’m still o.k.
  • I’m still a great kid.
  • I can like myself!

Bonus Tip

Use cell salts to support health in your child’s body.

Something for Mom, while the children are in school

The next session of the Swan Mothers Circle starts Sept. 23. A circle of friends who understand. Natural help tips for easier living. Support.

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Groups Do It Faster

When I was 19, I was an instructor to aspiring camp counselors. One of my tasks was to lead the young women on a hike in the Catskill Mountains of New York.

I carefully selected a trail and hiked it myself to verify the time required for this activity. I reported to the senior instructors, “It took me three hours. But I hiked straight through and went really fast. I’m sure it will take a lot longer with a group of 20 girls.”

The women in charge laughed. “It will go much faster with a group of 20 girls.” I did not believe them.

On the day of the group hike, as I had suspected, there was much laughter, much talk, and many stops for complicated photo arrangements. The girls in the lead took a wrong turn at one point and we had to back-track for a while. It felt more like ambling than hiking. And yet, we were back at the trail head in two and a half hours.

I have since learned: progress and learning are faster and easier in a group. (If you don’t have a group to support you, join mine.)

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

A Rainbow of Emotions

Before children, I was even-tempered, reasonably calm, and uber-logical. I never screeched or hollered as a little girl. I did not pout or throw fits as a teen. I was a quiet and content wife.

I was astounded then at the emotions my children could elicit in me:

  • Explosive anger
  • Exuberant joy
  • Intense fear

I had not known these emotions dwelt within me, yet my children could provoke them with a word, a seemingly innocuous action, or by leaning on me.

I Join a Group

The first formal woman’s circle I joined wasn’t for mothers on the verge of losing it. It was a simple meditation group.  Mostly, we sat together with our eyes closed. At that time, I wasn’t even interested in (or aware of) meditation. I joined because the opportunity showed up for me when my children were small and I needed something – anything – to get away from home one evening per month.

The act of sitting in that circle began a transformative journey that continues to this day.  One of the greatest benefits has been that I am no longer a slave to my emotions.

Just from sitting in a circle?  Yes and no.  It all started there and it has been quite a journey.  (You can read all about it in my book, Swan Mothers: Discovering Our True Selves by Parenting Uniquely Magnificent Children.)

Support for Stressed-Out Mothers

I have been sitting in women’s circles for over a decade. Some circles lasted an hour. Others have been ongoing for years. Each has enriched my life.

I encourage you to find support for your own journey by coming together with other mothers of surprising children. Learn to listen to one another without judging. Being heard is in itself a healing experience. If you prefer anonymity or can’t find a local group, consider an on-line group.

A More Structured Group

If you need a place to start, please consider joining the Swan Mothers Circle. Our next session starts September 25 and is conducted by phone and on-line, so you can participate from anywhere. Recordings are also available in case you are not able to listen at the scheduled times.

My most recent group reported that they felt the support of the circle even when they listened to the recording.  All felt the group we highly useful.
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