Swan Mothers

Discovering Our True Selves by Parenting Uniquely Magnificent Children

What I Focus on Expands

Close your eyes and think of an animal. Any animal. Real or imaginary. Except for a pink elephant. Don’t think, “Largest land animal on Earth.” Don’t think about that curly tail linked to another elephant. Don’t think about the long trunk spraying water. Do not think about its big, floppy ears. Keep your focus on any animal. But do not think about a pink elephant.

Perhaps someone has played this little game with you. I first heard it as a young child and was completely amazed that, try as I might, an enormous pink elephant suddenly occupied my whole mind. I had never thought of a pink elephant before, but as soon as I was told not to think about it, I could think of nothing else.

Don’t For Children

When children hear our words, “don’t” vanishes. We say, “Don’t play with your food.” They hear, “Play with your food.” Even if they realize that the instruction is not to do so, suddenly, this idea becomes irresistible.

It is more helpful to say what we mean clearly. For example, “Please put your fork down after you take a bite.” Or, “Please put your hands in your lap while you are chewing.”

Changing to the Positive

Consider these options and choose those that feel good to you.

Don’t run!…………………………….. Walk please!

You’re going to fall!………………… I see that you have really good balance!

Don’t hit your sister!………………. Come here and hold my hands to help you feel better.

Don’t for Parents

Just as it is easier to say “don’t” to our children than to find a supportive angle, it is easier to recognize what we don’t want than to determine what we desire. It is helpful to notice where our focus is. “I can’t wait for this day to be over.” “This really stinks.” “More dishes. More laundry. Can’t anyone in this family pee in the toilet?”

We notice how miserable we are being tired and out-of-shape, how long it has been since we’ve had a vacation, how little money and free-time we have. We become so enmeshed noticing lack, that when asked what we do want, we are unable to answer. We forget that we can desire something.

The Gift of Contrast

Noticing what we don’t want is a step. Be grateful for the signs that show you what you don’t want, then consider: Do you want the opposite of this thing that you have? Do you want something else?

“Desire is the movement of life that carries us where we yearn to be.”

Jennifer Louden in the Life Organizer: A Woman’s Guide to a Mindful Year.

Notice what you desire. Notice what you want. Surround yourself with words and images that show the things or situations or experiences that make your heart sing. Let yourself consider the possibility that you can have what you desire and tell me about it in the comment box below.

Getting to Yes! for Children and Parents

In the lovely book, Joyful Child, Peggy Jenkins includes a number of songs for increasing joy, gratitude, and awareness. One of my favorites follows. It helps children (and parents) remember that they are in control of their lives.

What I Focus on Expands

To the tune of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”

What I focus on expands

My life is in my own hands

My thoughts and feelings they create

So I choose a joyful state

What I focus on expands

My life is in my own hands.

Power Shot for Expanding Focus

I like to sing the above song while doing the Cross Crawl. This movement (described below) facilitates the crossover of energy between the brain’s right and left hemispheres. I will help you and your child to:

1. Feel more balanced and energized

2. Think Clearly

3. Improve coordination

Here’s how to do the Cross Crawl:

· March in place.

· Touch the right hand to the left.

· Then, touch the left hand to the right knee.

· Continue, changing sides with each step.

· You can also touch the (opposite) knee to elbow, touch the (opposite) foot behind the back.

· Continue for three minutes.

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Finding the Easy Way to Parent Difficult Children

When there is no time or money for a vacation, when formal practices like meditation seem too arduous to embrace, I go on a mini-retreat by reading a good book.  

The Kite Runner follows the story of Amir, the privileged son of a wealthy businessman in Kabul, and Hassan, the son of Amir’s father’s servant. It is a story of cowardly actions and disloyalty, shame and redemption.

As a young boy, Amir writes his first story and reads it to Hassan:

A poor man found a magic cup.  He discovered that if he wept into the cup, his tears turned into pearls. But even though he had always been poor, he was a happy man and rarely shed a tear. So he found ways to make himself sad so that his tears could make him rich.

As the pearls piled, his greed grew. The story ends with the man sitting on a mountain of pearls, knife in hand weeping helplessly into the cup with his beloved wife’s slain body in his arms.

Upon hearing the story, Hassan applauds and compliments Amir. Then, he asks permission to ask a question.  Hassan says, “Why did he ever have to feel sad to shed tears? Couldn’t he have just smelled an onion?”

The Stories We Tell

Most of our beliefs about ourselves and how the world works/how we will be treated are established by the time we are seven years old. Our early experiences teach us that the world is a safe place – or that it is not. Our parents, teachers, and friends validate our early learning by encouraging us or tearing us down.

As we grow, we continue to learn about how things should be. We learn words and associate meanings with them. We determine what it means to be a mother. We decide how our children are supposed to be.

But what if everything we learned is wrong? What if we do not have to cause ourselves grief, but just smell an onion, and pearls will show up in our lives?

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Super-Easy Homeopathy to Stop the Flu in Its Tracks

One of the trees in my front yard has already dropped all of its leaves. Others are still green. The burning bush shrubs are turning red. The nights are cool. The days are crisp. Autumn, my favorite season, has arrived.

For many people, autumn is also the start of cold and flu season. Already, I have heard of whole families affected by strep throat, vomiting, colds, and other malaise.

No one likes to be sick. When our autistic and neurodivergent children get sick, they may be particularly upset by the change in routine. They might fall behind in school work and miss therapy sessions. And mothers certainly don’t have time to be sick. Both parents and children want to be healthy and feel good.

Homeopathy for Stopping the Flu Before It Starts

Homeopathic remedies, taken at the first sign of the flu or sickness are extremely effective. The sooner you take them, the sooner you will feel well. Plan ahead and purchase the remedies you will need.

What to Buy

Aconite in the 200c potency.

Oscillococcinum 200.

Prevention is the Best Medicine

Common Sense for Staying Healthy

1.      Wash hands with soap and water when coming home from school, work, or shopping.

Do not rely on sanitizers. Sanitizers kill germs – but then you rub the dead bacteria and viruses into your skin. The ethyl alcohol in the sanitizer enhances absorption. This means that anything mixed with it will move through the skin and into the bloodstream more easily. (Everyone say “Eewe!” and head to the sink.)

2.      Drink plenty of water.

3.      Eat nourishing foods such as home-made soups and stews.

4.      Relax when stressed. Remember to take cell salts and to use EFT to keep stress levels low.

5.      Sleep when tired.

Preventing Flu with Homeopathic Remedies

Before Exposure

Take one dose of oscillococcinum 200 per week during flu season.

Even though the vials say to take the whole vial, I do not find this necessary. One tube should yield at least four doses and could easily be many more. Simply pour a few pellets into the mouth without touching the vial to the mouth OR pour a few pellets into a teaspoon and then place them in the mouth

  • Take all remedies in a clean mouth.  Do not eat, drink, smoke or brush teeth 15 minutes before or after taking remedies.

Known Exposure to Flu, No Symptoms

Take one dose of oscillococcinum 200 by pouring a few pellets into the mouth without touching the vial to the mouth.

First Sign of Feeling Ill

As soon as you feel the chill or scratchy throat that is your sign that you are getting sick, put a few aconite pellets in the cap and toss them in your mouth. Carry your vial of aconite 200 with you so that you can take it (or give it to your children) at the very first sign of sickness.

Repeat every 30 minutes for up to four doses.  Stop taking the remedy as soon as symptoms improve.

If you still feel ill or as if you are becoming ill after four doses, take a dose of oscillococcinum and follow the suggestions below.

Supportive Remedies and Actions

1.      If at all possible, go home and go to bed as soon as you start to feel sick. The remedies are very powerful but it is also important to listen to your body. When the body says, “Rest!” obey.

Mothers: This is the time to enlist the help of grandmothers, electronic babysitters, and whomever and whatever else can help. By resting early, you will heal more quickly and be able to return to full mommy-power quickly.

2.     Keep children home from school. Teachers, classmates and parents will be grateful that you did not share your flu. Your child will enjoy some special attention. Most importantly, you will demonstrate the importance of listening to his or her own body and honoring its needs.

3.      Drink water, herbal teas, and bone broths to stay hydrated and to nourish your body.

4.      Swallow or eat raw garlic. Garlic has anti-viral and anti-bacterial properties. Consuming raw garlic is very helpful when your throat feels raw and sore.

5.      Take immune boosting herbs such as echinacea and astragulus. My favorite brand is Herbs for Kids. Their herbs are sweet and pleasant to take.

6.      Support your body with cell salts. Take cell salts three times per day for a least one week after the first sign of flu or cold.

Wishing you a healthy winter.

In matters of health and healing, be fanatical about self-responsibility. Cell Salts and homeopathic remedies enable you to participate actively in your own healing. At the same time, you should continue to see your doctor for examinations, advice and treatment. Nothing on this site is intended as a substitute for medical advice.

Reference

Bill Cosby on Oscillococcinum

” .. A secret ingredient to his recovery is Oscillococcinum… his wife turned him on to alternative health when they moved to Los Angeles in the mid- 1960s… But he says he’s trying to spread the gospel on Oscillococcinum.

I’ve learned to pronounce Oscillococcinum because so many people don’t know anything about it,’…If you call people and they say, ‘Oh, man, I’m coming down with…,’ you tell them ‘Go to the drug store and get that box. It’s the only medicine with a lot of S’s and a lot of C;s in the first word….

They call back. ‘Did you get it?’ ‘No I haven’t gone yet.; They’re wheezing and sneezing and have a headache. ‘Here, hang up the phone and go.’ And they still don’t go. Why? ‘Because I don’t know how to pronounce it.’ So it becomes very, very funny and you get frustrated because you know it’s going to work.”

“Bill Cosby on colds: Not so funny; Comedian swears by French formula,” by Bruce Fessier, The Desert Sun, Palm Springs, CA, February 11, 2010

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Super-Easy Homeopathy for Sore Throats

Ask and it is given. Alyssa wrote on the Blessed by (Autism) Uniquely Magnificent Children Facebook wall: “I love your stuff! Have you written anything on strep throat? Just wondering how to keep Maddy from getting it again.”

Cell Salts for Healthy Throats

If you have never heard of cell salts (also called biochemic cell salts and tissue salts) or need directions for how to use them, please read Cell Salts 101.

Calc Sulph

Cell salt practitioners have found that calc sulph is a powerful blood purifier. When a person is deficient in calc sulph, diseases of the body membranes, catarrh and skin are likely to result. If you have an insufficient amount of calc sulph, your liver may become overloaded with worn-out red blood cells. (Your liver and gall bladder do their best work between 11:00 p.m. and 3:00 a.m. Be asleep.)

Calc sulph heals by building tissues.  It supports rejuvenation by attracting other vital cell constituents.

When given at the first sign of sore throats and colds, it will support the body and may prevent these illnesses from developing.

Other Cell Salts for Sore Throat

If the throat is hot, red, inflamed, and painful, consider ferrum phos and nat mur.

If swallowing is very difficult, give kali mur and mag phos.

Calc phos is a common children’s remedy for sore throats.

Several other cell salts may be indicated for sore throats.  Review the charts in Cell Salts 101 and Restoring Balance with cell salts to see if the mental and emotional symptoms indicated can help you choose the best cell salt for supporting healing.  To learn much more, read the reference books suggested at the end of this article.

Prevention

Don’t wait for your child to get sick.  If your child is prone to sore throats, note the cell salts discussed above and click the links to read more about them.  If the picture matches your child, give the indicated cell salt three times per day for two weeks.  Note any changes in behavior, digestions, and well-being.

Sickness is a sign that something in the body is out of balance. Notice symptoms and signs from your body to choose a cell salt and correct imbalances and maintain health.

Homeopathic Remedies for Sore Throats

There are scores of homeopathic remedies that may be indicated for your child’s sore throat. Homeopathic treatment requires that all signs and symptoms of the illness be considered. A homeopath will ask what hurts and where, what makes the symptoms better or worse, how is the patient acting, how the pain feels, and more.

To give you an idea of what this means, I will briefly describe the pictures of two remedies that may be used in supporting the healing of strep throat.

Arsenicum Album

People who need arsenicum look pale and anxious and feel cold to the touch.  When sick, they are very weak and exhausted. They feel better lying down, yet, despite this, will be very restless and anxious.

Arsenicum Album’s sore throat looks/feels like this:

The pains are burning. There may be ulcers in the throat. They feel better drinking something hot and worse drinking something cold and when swallowing.

Belladonna

Belladonna illness comes on suddenly and strongly. Belladonna types catch colds easily if their heads get cold. They feel worst at 3:00 p.m. and sometimes also at 3:00 a.m. When sick, they want to lie in a quiet, darkened room. The face is very pale with very red cheeks and the eyes are glassy or shining. Pupils are enlarged.

Belladonna’s sore throat looks/feels like this: constricted, irritated, raw. The glands are swollen and the pains are severe and stitching. Their neck is tender to touch and talking is difficult.  Pain may radiate to the right ear.

I am happy to write in response to your questions and concerns. Please keep in mind that I am not a doctor and that this information is provided so that you can consider ways to naturally support your health and well-being.  Nothing in these pages is a substitute for the care and advice provided by your doctor. Continue to see your doctor for medical advice.

Common Sense Measures for Staying Healthy

Most people know the secrets of staying healthy. Yet almost everyone forgets or ignores these principles at times. I know I do.

If you or your children have been sick multiple times this winter, begin by reviewing this list and putting it into action.

1.      Sleep

We grow and heal while we sleep. Your body (particularly your adrenal system) does a majority of its recharging between the hours of 11 p.m. and 1 a.m. In addition, your gallbladder dumps toxins during this same period. If you are awake, the toxins back up into your liver, which can further disrupt your health.  (Read more about sleep. Trouble falling asleep? Try the cell salt combination, Sleep Tissue A.)

2.      Diet

Nourishing foods feed our cells and organs and support all body functions. Three easy ways to improve nutritional intake, acceptable even to most picky and resistant eaters, are juicing fresh fruits and vegetables, drinking healthy teas and infusions, and drinking bone broths.

3.       Exercise

Move a little – or a lot! – every day. Stretch. Get your heart rate up. Have fun.

4.      Quiet Time

Parents and children need quiet time to allow their bodies to relax.  ake time each day for meditation, reading, or cuddling. Find what works for you and give yourself the gift of peace.

References

Nature’s 12 Magic Healers: Using Homeopathic Cell Salts to Protect or Restore Health

Natural Healing with Cell Salts

The Complete Homeopathy Handbook: Safe and Effective Ways to Treat Fevers, Coughs, Colds and Sore Throats, Childhood Ailments, Food Poisoning, Flu, and a Wide Range of Everyday Complaints

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Accepting Love

I want to be loved by you ♫♫♫♫♫ I know the signs by which I expect you to show your love. I hope you know them, too.

It’s lovely if we truly know our children, partners, parents, and friends and are able to love they way they want to be loved. It’s nice if they know us well enough, and have the capacity to, love us as we want to be loved. But it doesn’t always work like that.

My father loves me by preparing beautiful meals for my family. My son cuddles me in an amazingly loving way, but only when he so chooses. Lots of people hug me.

I could tell the huggers, “I don’t like to be hugged by you,” but I suspect they would be hurt by such words. I could ask my son to do something for me, but he wouldn’t do it. I could say to my father, “I appreciate the food, but I’d like to hear about your childhood,” but he would walk away.

I can notice all the ways I’m not getting what I desire, or I can appreciate the love that is freely given, when and how it is presented to me.

I choose to accept and experience love in its many expressions. I choose to notice and appreciate the goodness in my life. I choose to embrace the adventure of living.

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Can you let it all go?

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Here you are, Natalia: in the promised land.

Look — and watch autumn paint leaves. Listen — and hear the sound of clothes washing themselves. Taste — and savor the  salt, sugar, chocolate and almond flavors mingling on your tongue. Feel — and sense the love that surrounds you.

But it is NOT ENOUGH. Not nearly enough. Magnificence and glory await. Joy, indescribable and unimaginable, evident in a momentary tingle in your body, in a flash of almost-seen ultraviolet light, in an expansiveness that constricts as soon as it’s perceived.

Beauty . . . Sweetness . . . Love . . . 
Exhaustion . . . Despair . . . Pain . . .
bind you . . . . constrict you . . . restrict you . . . 

Can you let it all go?

“I can’t let go of my children!” I hear your shout. Have you so little faith in them? Have you forgotten that they are Masters?

Comfort . . . Familiarity . . . Ease . . .
Uncertainty . . . Lies . . . Deceit . . . 
Promises . . . Dreams . . . Goals . . . 

Can you let them all go

And allow Great Mystery?

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I wrote this on October 25, 2013. I could be writing it today. Wondering why I so often feel Life is wonderful, but it’s not enough. It’s not enough.

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Teas for Digestive Health

Guest post by Jen Tea of Love & Tea

All through history, wise woman have turned to the elements found in nature to bring good health. A long lineage of natural health wisdom has demonstrated the value of herbs to nourish and support us. Teas and herbal infusions are a wonderful way to nourish children’s growing bodies and to support our own.

Our Tummy Tea was formulated to enhance greater digestive power and ease tummy discomfort. A tasty cup of  tea for children and adults!

Herbs behind this blend:

* Chamomile: Is said to uplift the spirits, soothes and calm’s the soul. Traditionally used as a carminative, while toning and balancing the stomach.

* Fennel Seed: Is used in many cultures to ease and settle digestion, especially in new mothers and infants.

Ginger: Is used traditionally as a tonic for the entire female reproductive system. Also used to help ward off colds and sore throats. This root is utilized in many cultures for it’s ability to increase digestive power. Ginger has antibacterial, antiviral and anti-fungal properties and, has a healing effect on the stomach.

Peppermint & Spearmint: Mints are known to refresh and invigorate the mind. Toning and balancing to the stomach, while dispelling gas.

Check these other teas for greater digestive power:

Chai

Sweet Relief

Green Mt. mint

* Ginger Mountain Ginseng

 

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Sailing Away

Originally posted on Weaving Gold:

I joined Lyn Thruman‘s October Writing Challenge: Writing the Wisdom of the Soul. I am expanding, evolving, shining, and taking the reins in my journey.

Prompt for October 7: The Emperor is a director and overseer, bringing order where chaos can reign supreme.  He’s logic, reason, experience, and boundary protection.

Write about where you could use the energy of The Emperor to protect your boundaries.  Where are you allowing energy or time leaks to occur?


Chaos is reigning in my beautiful, orderly life. It is rampaging through every cell in my body. It is wreaking havoc, destroying every idea and ideal that I’ve held.

Chaos has been demanding and brash. The Fool led me to the edge of a cliff, enticing me to step boldly (or timorously) into plummet into an unfamiliar gorge. And I stepped.

Chaos has been generous and supportive. The Magician bestowed gifts and tools

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Commandeering Myself

Natalia Erehnah:

From my writer’s blog.

Originally posted on Weaving Gold:

I joined Lyn Thruman‘s October Writing Challenge: Writing the Wisdom of the Soul. I am expanding, evolving, and shining.

Prompt for October 3: Channel your inner High Priestess and ask her to reveal your potential, the wisdom written on the scroll. Write her wisdom.


Yesterday , I wielded the Magician’s tools and arrived at Destination Heart. I drank the nectar of knowing and accepted the call to follow the urgings of my heart.

Today, my respite is interrupted by the appearance of a Priestess and the ever-increasing rate of whirling energies on the planet.

“I have the greatest secrets of all to share,” she whispers. “I am the Guardian of Mysteries and the guide to your path.” She hands me a scroll. “It reveals the secret of your highest potential,” she says before disappearing.

I delight at the easiness of today’s task. I am not being asked to step off a cliff or to travel a treacherous…

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Healthy Digestion 101

Guest Post by Jeffrey S. Sorna, DiHom of Hampton Natural Therapeutics

Jeffrey and I were classmates at the Institute for Natural Health Sciences. He is passionate about the role of diet in health building. If you are in the Detroit area, I highly recommend visiting Jeffrey at his clinic.

Most people that come into my clinic have digestive issues and which lead to these imbalances:

  • Allergies
  • GERD
  • Gout
  • Arthritis
  • Depression
  • Insomnia
  • Low Cellular Energy (voltage drop)

Much of this occurs from the lack of alkaline minerals in the foods that we eat. The element that is critical for keeping stomach acid in balance is naturally occurring sodium in its whole food state. If your internal warning light just went off, that’s good!  There are few things in any kitchen more abused than table salt. But let’s not confuse this item with organic sodium in its whole food state. In its natural state, sodium is kept in balance by all the other elements.

Table salt, on the other hand, is refined, dyed and stripped of all other elements. Once again we have taken a gift from nature and ruined it with modern processing.

Sodium in the Stomach and in Joints

There are two major storehouses for sodium in the human body:  the stomach and the joints. Without sodium stored in its walls, the stomach would be devoured by hydrochloric acid. Without sodium present in the joints, we have a condition called “calcium out of solution” which often leads to arthritis and calcium deposits.

Many practitioners use okra, celery seed, and dandelion to help with digestive issues. This works out great and is very interesting because all three of these have a lot of natural sodium and the ability to balance the stomach pH.  (Natalia’s note: I wrote about juicing celery in When Your Child Won’t Eat)

Other approaches to digestive issues involve turning off the hydrochloric acid in the stomach. This is ridiculous as it only creates a whole new set of problems. The stomach can only have too much hydrochloric acid if it doesn’t have enough natural sodium to keep it in balance.

Other things that are critical for the production of hydrochloric acid include: Vitamin B1 thiamine; zinc; iodine.

A Stomach in Balance

Without the stomach in balance, the breakdown of food cannot occur. Proteins that provide us with key amino acids and minerals are the most difficult to process and simulate. For example, without the amino acid L-Tryptophan, we cannot produce the neurotransmitter serotonin and we become depressed.

This brings me to the main offender that causes this condition, carbonated beverages. These things are a script for ill health. Carbonation destroys hydrochloric acid, sugar destroys the immune system, and phosphoric acid in soda lowers the systemic pH (cellular voltage). Then, in the final assault, the phosphoric acid further robs your body of magnesium. Magnesium is the conduit between sunlight energy and physical energy. So this robs our bodies of the ability to convert energy from the sunlight to physical energy.  As you can see, the good digestion is a must for healing in the body to occur.

How do we balance all these things?

Find a natural health practitioner, someone that does EAV or EDS testing, iridology, homeopathy or applied kinesiology, to help with the complexities of body balancing and building health and get off the sugar and pop. It’s a struggle for the first couple weeks, but you’ll feel much better once you’re free of it.

 

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